December 31, 2010

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year!! :)

This has been such a long eventful year! It has exactly been a year since I landed in the hospital for contractions and cervix shortening (and celebrated new years in the hospital)! What a journey it has been!

December 23, 2010

9 Months - Milestones!

We are celebrating 9 months here! Everyday there is a new milestone reached in our household. This month has been great so far...

-RT army crawls; rocks on all fours; pulls up and sits on her own; sits on bent knees... has started to pull herself up on furnitureand stands unassisted; can balance herself if she is about to fall; loves baths (not fond of getting her hair washed though!); talks and talks and talks; loves to roll over a pile of pillows and then turns around and redoes the circus; has a pretty good pincer grip... has transitioned from no food/1 meal to almost 4 meals a day (not all of them are very productive... but we do eat 4 times a day) - she can pretty much eat anything we eat (with various textures and (mild) spice levels)!

-RM has progressed from army crawling to rocking on all fours in less than a week; he can pull himself up and tries to stand unassisted... he seems to be 2-3 weeks behind RM but has been catching up at a great speed and strength; loves baths; talks and talks and talks; he has also transitioned from no food/1 meal a day to almost 4 meals a day - he can pretty much anything we eat (with various textures and (mild) spice levels).

-They still get up 1-2 times for a middle of the night feed, but have been generally sleeping better than the previous month. RT, who had big time nap issues (short naps) has finally transitioned to longer naps (1-2 hrs). Both of them take 2 (long?) naps in a day.

-Their first tooth popped last week. Both started showing their lower right side tooth... it should hopefully be completely out in a few days. RM has actually started showing his 2nd lower tooth.

-Both caught a bad cold last week. Teething with a cold ain't fun. Poor babies have been cranky and have had some issues with food and sleep.

-They have been doing great with this trip of ours and I am hoping it continues the same way. When Daddy arrived (2 weeks ago)... RM instantly recognized him and had a very big smile on his face... RT was a little scandalized as to how come Daddy popped out of the blue... but in a short while they were both all over him!

-Reflux still exists... but all this mobility/activity... will it shrink the effect? Right now I am just holding tight till we head back before we can experiment with the medication. We are running short on the Prilosec because one of the medicine bottles froze and I am having to explore the option of using the local version of the medication - a little concerned of how that is going to go.

We are also observing 1 year of the beginning of my bedrest! I can't believe how fast it has flown by. Last year this time we were bombarded with the cervix and contractions issues, and we were so unsure of how things would progress. But, here we are today... and I feel blessed and humbled! I have loved every moment of being a SAHM and haven't missed the working world at all.

Christmas is not a very big grand festive season here and I am missing all the festivities back home! Daddy has headed back home now and it is making me want to go back again too. We should be home in 3 weeks. It is going to be challenging to reset their schedules and adjust to the brutal cold which is going to limit our outdoor activities. I also need to start thinking about our first birthday once we get back! How exciting!

Wishing you all Happy Holidays!

November 30, 2010

So much in Love - 8 Months!

This might sound cliche, but I am so much in love with my babies! And no, it hasn't taken me 8 months to realize it! I have loved every moment with them and I can't remember and imagine my life without them! The way they hug me or get excited to see me, their faith and unconditional true love - aah, I feel blessed!! They are growing so fast and I miss each passing day... though I look forward to the new day with even more vigour and I think that makes the last 8 months more of a fond memory than missing something that will not repeat!

In this past month their personalities have blossomed. Every day there is something new and it is so hard to keep track of all the new developments...

-RT has been army crawling and now getting on to all fours. She might just start crawling shortly. RM is starting to army crawl!
-They absolutely adore each other. They will hug each other, caress each other, giggle and laugh, roll over each other. At the same time, they have started wanting to have the same item (not always a toy - it could be a water bottle! :P)... they will yank it away from one another and sometimes cry over it too!
-They can handle a lot more solid solids - as in not completely mushed up food!
-Some of their 6-9 months clothes already seem to start to get (just a little) snug. Basically they are no longer loose like they were when we started using them at 6-7 months!
-Still in size 3 diapers, but we have been using size 4 for the nights (past 3 weeks), since size 3 started leaking!
-They have kinda lost their separation and stranger anxiety. They are social butterflies for now (with our trip)! :)
-They are extremely vocal! On random occasions, RM has called out for Daddy and Grandma and RT has called out for Mama! I doubt they understand what they are saying! Though RM for sure does say Nee-Nee when he is sleepy and he does call out Mamamama when he wants to come to me!
-If they realize that some one is stepping out of the house, they are ever ready to join them! RT can very nice wave good-bye and RM raises his hands to do so!
-They are continuing with Prilosec 3.0 ml x 2 days. Both weigh around 17.25 lbs.

A lot of my fellow blog sistas have started to heading towards project sibling! I just want to wish you all the very best!

November 26, 2010

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving to every one!

And Happy 8 Months to my darlings! We had an awesome night too... the babes slept between 0900 pm and 0730 am!!! :)

November 24, 2010

The Anxiety!

Here I am... talking about anxiety for the babies and myself. Stranger anxiety, separation anxiety - for babies; and air travel anxiety, jet lag anxiety, food anxiety - for me!

Man, it has been interesting. A million miles away from home, hoping that things fall in to a routine. It has been exactly a week since we arrived and we are still working on getting in to a schedule.

The babes are in the stage where they had stranger anxiety and separation anxiety. I was pretty worried as to how they would cope with a million people around them, with relatives and neighbors frequently visiting and trying to hold and play with them. Would they cry, throw a tantrum? Nope, the kids are loving the attention. Their stranger and separation anxiety seems to have vanished in less than a week! It will be nice to continue with it once we get back home. They seem to be managing pretty well! We have quite a bit of local travel coming up and it will be interesting to see how that goes. Daddy dearest will be joining us in 2 weeks from now and will be with us for 3 weeks. Then he goes back and we will return in 3 weeks from then. We timed it such that they are not separated from Daddy for too long!

As far as my anxiety is concerned. The babes were wonderful during the flight ride. They slept for over half the flight journey, which is less than their usual sleep time, but definitely commendable for the noise and crowd that was around them. So, I would say the journey was successful! I pumped once while they were sleeping and I was good for the rest of the journey (I am just pumping twice now (instead of 4 times) and producing around 30 oz)

Jet lag - phew! It is expected of them to take a week to get over it! But, we seem to be no where close to it! There are times when we feel that they are almost settled in and then - bam! RM has been sleeping at around 11 pm and getting up at 4-5'ish am and sleeps for approx 8 hrs during day time. RT, who is the light sleeper has actually been sleeping better at night from around midnight to 0630-0700'ish am and then another 8-9 hrs during day time. I don't blame them for the whacked up sleep cycle, but this better get over soon. It is messing up with their day time activities. As for RT's frequent night wake ups - they have pretty much vanished (I hope I am not speaking too soon) and makes me feel better that we did not CIO her! Every time I am inching towards CIO, we end up in a situation where we feel better for not going that route because some thing pops up and shows us why she has been the way she has. May be the lack of separation anxiety is helping her this time? May be these are just phases and I need to cope up with it than expect her to change.

We are hardly getting to prep any food for them since there are no guarantees when they will be up and not be sleepy enough to munch down their meals. So they have been getting either ready or quick meal options on a very random non-existant schedule. There are no guarantees when they will drink milk and their night time routine is shot.

One may ask why we decided to whack up their oh so perfect (?!?) routine and make them go across the globe! At times I feel guilty for doing this to them. I feel guilty for having to decide on cutting short bf'ing (pumping)! So why did we do it? We have been away from most of our relatives for ever. More than anybody else, we really wanted to bring the babies to their great grandparents (GGP). I have been blessed to see most of my GGP alive while I could understand things. I doubt the babies will remember anything. But the GGP have been more than thrilled to see the babies. Their blessings will always remain with the babies and this will be another milestone in the GGP's life... since these are pretty much their first great grand kids! So, we did this for family! And I hope the babies will cherish the videos and the pictures we take for years to come!

Tomorrow we will be celebrating the 8 month birthday! :)

More to come...!

November 15, 2010

Herbs & Spices

We started with solids a little after 4 months. Their first food was rice cereal, which they very quickly got bored off. There was a time when they were "happy" with the food being repeated (butternut squash, sweet potato, carrot etc)... and all these things more or less tasted sweet! There came a point where they just refused to eat this same old baby food. Cereal was a big no no! That's when we started introducing stage 2 food and also started mixing and matching items. A couple of weeks ago when I was speaking with the Ped, he said it was okay to start introducing them with any ethnic/traditional foods that we might be eating. We use quite a bit of spices and herbs in our food... so we have recently started introducing various things and they are loving it. Their food has started tasting so much like ours (only milder). We have so far introduced black pepper, cumin, garlic, turmeric (in that order). They are also munching on some of our foods since they are so interested in what we are eating and they seem to be doing fine!

November 13, 2010

BM and Zzz...

Lots happening around here. We are leaving on Wednesday and we are still packing. Our house seems like a tornado ripped through... with all the stuff laying all around... I wonder when we will finish packing. I have already shipped 3 bags full stuff for babies and we will be taking 6 more bags with us!

Half - is where I am as far as pumping is concerned. I was pumping 4 times a day and producing 60+ oz of milk for all these months. In the last 3 weeks or so, I have come down to around 34 oz and approximately 2 pump sessions. It has not been easy... but it has not been as rough as I had imagined. I am definitely not going to be weaning myself off of the pump before we leave... it just isn't happening in the next 4 days! I will be pumping in the PLANE! Yes... exciting... my mom is flying with the babies and I... so I have to some how sneak in to the "toilets" and pump around half a litre of milk and hope that the babies sleep while I am gone! And I hope there are no delays and our bags arrive on time... I hope I am not speaking too soon! Because, if not... I really would not like to pump more than once in the whole journey! We shall see. As far as reducing the volume is concerned... increasing the time between pump sessions from 6 hrs to 8 hrs and then to 10 hrs is what has helped. Yes, I am engorged at times... but it has been manageable. I try not to empty myself out completely... but I am not keeping completely full either... because then I have to pump sooner and that has not helped in reducing the volume. Some how this whole thing seems to be working. On a hindsight this seems to be good, because I didn't really want to get the babes off of breastmilk so soon. This way they will continue to get at least 50% breastmilk for few more months.

Sleep Monster - Has been going around our house! Is it the 7 month sleep regression or separation anxiety or teething or reflux?!? I am lost! RT has always been a poor sleeper. She barely naps (30 min napper) and I have come to terms with it... but for the past 1 week she has been getting up very very frequently! Like every hour! Like every time you put her down in her crib! There have been time when she has ended up in our bed, because she just wouldn't settle down at all and would wake her brother up! I have not wanted to do CIO... but I feel like we are inching towards that. She needs the sleep - waking up every hour crying is not healthy for her! Though, I am scared to try anything new now. With the whole travel situation, jet lag and moving places... whatever "training" we try... it is going to get blown off every time a new parameter kicks in! So I am just hoping we reach some equilibrium again soon, and if not CIO will be our option when we settle back in after our 2 month long trip! Besides CIO, I have also considered co-sleeping, but then why should she co-sleep and not her brother. And, can you imagine how hard it will be to co-sleep with twins. I mean forget our personal space (DH and I)... but they will probably fall asleep only when we will... will get up when we will. If dealing with a single baby is tough, how hard will twins be? When, oh when will I take care of all the stuff that needs to be taken care of... not household chores, but all that has to be done for the babes too!

November 8, 2010

The Darn Insurance

We got a call from our RE's finance department saying that a part of our IVF was not being paid for by our insurance! According to our insurance plane "one" IVF was covered! We had a pre-approval and everything! It seems ER, fertilization and ET codes were not covered. WHAT Besides These 3 main things consist of an IVF!?! We have a freakin 7.4k bill to fight 16 months after the procedure!

October 25, 2010

7 Months a Marathon!

Yes, 7 months... we are already 7 months young! This month has flown by... it has been like a marathon!

We had quite a few doctor's appointments... all is well, but certain things had to be taken care of and everything was piled up for this month!

If you remember, RM went through Apnea monitoring after the freak episode that we had in the second week after birth. During the monitoring at the hospital, a cardiologist had performed EKG and an ultrasound to make sure everything was okay with his heart. They had heard a slight murmur and had noticed a small opening during the monitoring! So we were asked to follow up in 6 months. We had the follow up appointment on October 1st. Everything seems to be fine... there is a tiny-winy hole, but as per today's medicine and technology, no action needs to be taken. It does not need to be addressed and is not technically a health concern. We were asked to follow up with our pediatrician in a couple of years to see if any new medical findings warrant for a rescan or follow up.

October 8th was our 6 months vaccination. The babes got their first flu shot as well. They had fever for a day and half and were fine there after. Weight wise, we are staying steady... we got no 100 percentile babies here, but healthy chubby babies between 10-30% (reflux!). We will be going in again on November 8th for the 2nd flu shot.

RM had an undescended testicle during birth! We had hoped that it would descend during the first six months... but it didn't! It is recommended that it should be fixed before the baby turns 1.5 years old (in order to avoid any interference with fertility and for other such reasons) - earlier the better! We had the surgery (orchidopexy) performed on October 12th. The surgery went well and RM was a trooper! He was brave during the procedure and few hours of the hospital stay (between 0630 am to 1030am'ish). He was on tylenol for 2 days (just in case for pain) and has been as active as he possibly could be ever since then. We had a follow up appointment on October 25th and things seem to be fine post-op!

October 14th was RT's ear piercing at the pediatrician. She has these cute lil earrings (gold balls). She cried her eyes out! :) Poor child... she already has stranger anxiety (big time) and was not happy with people messing with her ears!

So in short... we have been crazy busy keeping appointments and making sure that the babes are comfortable!

There was another big decision that we made and have been implementing. We are weaning the babes off of breastmilk! Not something I would have liked to do in an ideal world. I still feel like if it were in my hands completely, I would nurse them till they turned 18! I have been fortunate enough to provide for them for 7 whole months! And I have been thankful enough to not face any of the supply issues I was dreading! But, it is time... we are traveling internationally next month and will be away for 2 months (would really love to hear about experiences about international travel, jet lag, flight journey). Space and privacy will be non-existent and exclusively pumping and feeding twins with all the logistics involved in storage and utilization... while trying not to get engorged (and have any infection)... and keeping two babies happy... I don't think I can handle it. I wish we could have pushed this trip... but the babes will be meeting their great-grandparents (who are aging) and we probably could not have delayed the trip very long. The transition has not been very smooth. RT is very picky with taste... we gave them formula every other day (one feed)... just to keep them used to it and then came the mega Similac recall! And boom... RT refused to drink the powder formula when it came back in the market. She was not happy with any other brand either. RM was okay with anything and everything. So eventually we had to mix formula and breastmilk and reintroduce formula to her. She is accepting formula again now and we are hoping that we can completely wean them off of breastmilk before we leave next month. Me trying to wean myself off of pumping is all together a different story. I am trying to reduce the volume, trying to use cabbage leaves as well. From 2 liters to 0 is going to be a big game! Any tips or advice will be highly appreciated.

We will be meeting the GI on November 2nd for reflux. Both of them are on Prilosec 2ml 2x day and things seem to be under control for now. We are off of Zantac! I just wish this was over and we were not worrying about reflux anymore. They have become so active now... that it would be nice for their bodies to take over control over their reflux.

And now for their activities...
-They are ACTIVE! They will flip over and roll over and flip over and turn around and on and on and on... They are not still for a moment!
-RT started sitting unassisted as of 10/12. I avoided RM from sitting unassisted because of his surgery... but we let him sit (unassisted) on 10/23! If we let them hold on to our hand while laying down... they will sit up and right away stand up! They love to stand (assisted). RM started jumping (literally) today (10/26) if we hold him at his armpits.
-Toys which light up and roll and make noises attract their attention like never before! We don't let them watch TV, but whenever they get a glimpse of it... they are glued to it!
-Their favorite song is "I am bringing home a baby bumble bee... ".
-They love car rides... they will go crazy when they figure out they are going out and will not stay still till we put them in to their car seats.
-RT has been teething... I say so because, she has swollen gums and there is this small protrusion sticking out of her gums, but the tooth won't come out! She had a swollen cheek for few days because of that... and has been super cranky and uncomfortable. She has been chewing on anything that her little hands fall upon. I hope she gets that tooth out soon. On the other hand RM has had his first cough/sore throat. He was coughing for 2-3 days and has a little bit of hoarseness in his voice. We went and saw the pediatrician, specially since it was in a couple of days after his surgery. The pediatrician doesn't think it is related to the surgery (medication/anesthesia) and asked us to watch out for fever or ear infection et al. He seems to be fine so far... I just hope he gets his sweet little voice back soon.
-RM's normally naps twice a day with a cat nap somewhere in between. RT still has her 30-40 minute naps. They are awake longer which helps so much in getting out of the house and getting things done! They both sleep on their sides at night and are all over the crib! Night time sleep is still around 12 hours... though things have been a little wacked up with all our medical adventures!
-They have tried rice, lentil, egg yolk, chicken, avocado, carrot, butternut squash, peas, sweet potato, banana, rice and oat cereal so far. They are getting more and more attracted to fancy foods. They are very much interested in what we eat. They are starting to drink water after meals, and we are trying to introduce a sippy cup. We are still doing one meal a day... I would like to bump it up to 2/3 meals a day... but with all the medical stuff that was going on this month, I was a little hesitant to introduce another meal or two.

I love you my honey buns!

September 25, 2010

6 Months!

How can it be? I remember them 6 hours old, 6 days old, 6 weeks old... and they are already 6 months old - their 1/2 birthday! I can't seem to recollect my life without them. I hardly remember the bedrest and the worrisome period during the pregnancy! 6 months ago... they were still in my belly kicking away and chilling out! In spite of the new challenges that they throw at me oh so frequently along with their ever changing routines... I truly feel content! I wan't to hold back time because they seem to be growing so fast, yet I am looking forward to them growing up and experiencing all the fun things with them!

We celebrated their 1/2 birthday with a cheesecake from cheesecake factory (chocolate mousse cheesecake - yum)!

Here is a 6 month update...

-RT and RM have been eating solids regularly (once a day). They have tried sweet potatoes, butternut squash, carrots, avocado and banana so far. They have never been truly interested in rice cereal, so we aren't really giving it to them.
-RM can entertain himself with one toy for ever. He will giggle and wiggle and talk with it without being disturbed by anything around him. He has figured out peek-a-boo and will take any thing around him and cover his eyes and get a kick out of it. If we take the cloth/toy out... he will start giggling. He is normally happy with any toy he can lay his hands on. Though, he is not as big a fan of the jumperoo as his sister.
-RM loves to stand (assisted)... and he has recently figured out squatting... he will stand and then bend his knees and go down and stand up again! He prefers to stand over sitting.
-If RM is on his belly, he can push on his feet and raise his butt and push himself around. Though it will all depend on his mood, if he is up for it he will roll over back to front or front to back... but otherwise he will sit there and cry and wants to be turned over.
-RM is a free bird, he loves to be held but is equally comfortable just being by himself. Though if he is held for too long (especially by anyone other than Mommy, Daddy or Grandma)... he can get pretty uncomfortable. It is not really a stranger anxiety... because if he is in his stroller, rocker or just laying down... he will instantaneously smile and interact with any stranger.
-RT loves the jumperoo... if we let her be... she can be in there for ever, but we try not to get her exhausted. Other than jumperoo, she can get bored of toys pretty quickly... and constantly needs something new to entertain herself.
-RT loves to sit (assisted). She will actually hold one finger of ours and pull herself up (if she is on a little bit of an incline). She raises her feet and lifts up her head/neck and keeps working towards pulling herself up. She prefers to sit over standing.
-When RT is on her belly, she prefers to lay down and relax than make the efforts to flip over (which she very well can).
-RT is a party gal! She will take some time to warm up... but she is so excited to be with people, she loves being held and will laugh and play and pose for pictures with everybody.
-RT loves to suck on her toes, RM still hasn't figured it out.
-RM absolutely loves to play with RT... he will start giggling and caressing and talking with RT whenever she comes close to him. He will try to grab her arm/leg and put it in his mouth. RT on the other hand is moody, there are times when she will be eager to talk with RM or caresse him... but then there will be times when she won't even look at him. I am sure this will change once they start getting even more interactive.
-They both love... bottles, kettle, laptop, cell phones, hair (to pull). They prefer toys which make sounds and light up. RT favorite is a frog which plays "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star..." and lights up in the cheeks. RM absolutely loves his
-They have started to play with the same toy, but don't yet realize that one or the other has pulled it away and will very easily move on to the next toy. I am sure our days are numbered where they will be content with their toy being pulled away from them.
-They both love going out. If they are cranky... and are put in the car seat, they will instantaneously calm down and wait to go out.

Now, the Reflux! RM is still on Zantac (1.5 ml 3x day). It has been over 3 weeks since we went and saw the GI and substantially increased the dosage. He seems to be relatively fine. He seems to be giving out all his burps (his classic reflux symptom) while he is being active. I hope it continues that way. However, we had to switch RT to Prilosec today (2 ml 2x day). She seemed to be getting miserable! I am hoping that we see some changes in her in the next few days.

As mentioned before RT's sleep issues continue and her big night time feeds continue as well. And yes, we "did not" CIO. I just don't think we are a CIO kind of couple... at least not at this age. Taking care of twins is not easy... it's not double the work, but more like exponential work. Situations like this (frequent night time feeding) can really throw you off and some times mess up your twin schedule! Which made me want to consider CIO, but I guess we won't be doing that... at least not now (and hopefully not in the future either).

We are still on breastmilk but are trying to transition to formula slowly. I would love to provide for them for ever! I feel blessed to be able to provide for them for this long. Though, we think it is time for me to separate from my breast pump (which is kind of my life right now). Does any one have any tips on how to wean myself off of pumping?

We go in for our 6 month vaccination on Friday, October 8th.

September 23, 2010

Similac Recall!

Similac powder formula being recalled! We are just doing formula once a day, and unfortunately ours is listed in the recall too! It was purchased 2-3 months back... so I guess this thing goes back a while!

Recall Information (here)

September 10, 2010

To CIO or not!?

Not sure what to really call this post! We are having some issues here... both the kids pretty much get the same treatment as far as sleeping/feeding is concerned... but of course they are two different individuals and they have their own personality! And I am having trouble here with my daughter (RT)!

So RM loves to sleep... he will take naps anywhere between 45 minutes to 2 hours and usually sleeps pretty well at night with just 1 feeding in between (or 2 if he has had a bad day). When the reflux is bad... he burps miserable and has to be held... so he kind of has gotten in to a habit of sleeping in my arms and then being put down in to his crib (he was so good at putting himself to sleep before that). With reflux he was also a pretty bad feeder till we up'ed the dosage. He used to struggle with finishing an ounce or two at a time... though we used to some how manage to get 25-30 oz in a day (on good days). He now takes between 4 to 6 oz at a time. So he is doing pretty well.

Now... RT! She naps for just 30 to 45 minutes. I have tried several things to get her to nap longer... wake to sleep, pick up put down, holding her, patting her, swinging her... she normally doesn't even nap for longer than 45 minutes in a car ride! Though one good thing is she can kind of put herself to sleep. She sucks on her fingers to fall asleep (we don't use a paci)... hopefully she will grow out of it, but it works for now. She used to have trouble with her awake time in the beginning... she used to tire out very easily in less than an hour (the shorter naps were just not enough for her). But, as she is growing up... those 30-45 min naps seems to be working fine while she stays up for anywhere between 1.5 to 2 hours. With her such short naps and RM's long naps, we have never ever been able to put them on the same schedule, though there night time sleep pretty much coincide (~ 11 hours)! Anyhow... my main concern for her is... feeding. If she is really hungry she can finish a bottle of 4 oz in less than 2-3 minutes! But ever since the reflux... she will hardly take 1-2 oz in one go. She gets super excited and also has a strong temper. Between the two persona's of hers, its very difficult to get her to take a good feed. Which essentially means... she wakes up at night! Anywhere between 3 to 4 times. Sometimes with in 2 hours. I am okay with night feeds... but getting up every 2 hours? That is like a newborn! Just not acceptable!! She used to sleep for 5 to 8 hours straight when she was smaller. She sometimes will finish half her daily intake at night! We try not to go in and feed her or soothe her right away! If she reduces her feeds during the night, she might just be willing to take more during the day time. After she is fed, she will fall asleep by her self... so we know that she is not using the bottle to try to fall back asleep. We kind of let it be during the reflux (low medication dosage) stage... because they were really miserable and just couldn't feed enough at one time!

I am totally confused as to what to do with her? Should I let her cry it out at night! Will she really learn that night time is not for feeding and take in more during the day time?! Currently, the medication is working like a charm and I know for sure that when she gets up in the middle of the night it is not a burp (reflux related) but more for hunger! If I had to let her CIO... this would be the time... unless she just grows out of it! Should I give her a paci... will she take it with such a late introduction? I would hate for her to get completely reliant on the pacifier! I would really appreciate any advice that you may have or experience that you can share.

September 9, 2010

It still hurts!

One of my friends from high school called and told me she is Pregnant! I should have been happy and excited for her! But, the same old story - I am not! She is a part of the close knit group we had back in the days. We are still very well connected and in touch! Another reason, why I should have been really excited for her... because she was a potential candidate for being an IF!

I think the reason is because she is the second gal from that group of ours who got PG one after the other and real quick. Why is it so easy for them? I have two beautiful babies... who mean the world too me... so why do I still hurt just about the same!

I guess, just like I will always be a Mother... I will always be an Infertile!

September 2, 2010

GI Visit

We had our appointment with the GI this morning! I am glad we went and saw the specialist!

As I had mentioned in my previous post, that freakin nurse took wrong readings for weight as well at the previous Ped visit! 16.75 lbs seemed to good to be true - almost a 2.5+ lbs gain in less than 3 weeks! They both weighed 15 lbs today. RT is at around 50th percentile and RM is at 25th percentile.

We discussed how the babes are troubled by the reflux and what we have done so far etc. Our Peds office had recommended 1.1 ml 3 times a day... and then bumping up the dosage by 0.1 every 2 weeks! Which wasn't quite working. As in, the babes are not super miserable... but they will have sleepless bouts, low milk consumption episodes. And I knew things weren't as good as it should have been inspite of being on medication. The GI bumped up the dosage to 1.5 ml 3 times a day! This continues for approximately a month or untill I start seeing any mega signs of reflux! Otherwise we go back in 2 months.

As per the GI, 50% of the babies outgrow reflux by 6 months, 75% by 9 months and 99% by a year... hopefully we will see the end of reflux sooner than later! Also, it seems the Peds try to be conservative and will only recommend the average dosage required for a certain age/weight! So, now we shall see how things look! Wish us luck!

August 26, 2010

5 months!

The babes are 5 months young today! Happy Five!

I didn't get a chance to update about their 4 month Ped visit which was on August 6th. Things have been a little crazy on the growth (weight) front! As in... RM slacked a little in his weight at around 3.5 months and was almost 3/4th lbs lighter than RT. After birth he had picked up on his weight and surpassed RT... but at around 3.5 months he went down to the 19th percentile from the 50'ish that he was at during the 2nd month visit. Reflux was being a bitch and it took us some time to get a hang of it and start the meds. But with in 2 weeks after starting Zantac, he gained 1.5 lbs (14.3 lbs) and was up in the 29th percentile! Reflux has been affecting RT as well, but she (touch wood) has been taking it in a much better stride (weight gain wise). Every two weeks, we have been having to up the Zantac dose by 0.1 ml as they gain weight. The Ped suggested that we could go see a GI specialist... so we have an appointment on Sept 2. We also went in for a weight check yesterday, and they supposedly weighed 16.75 lbs!!! RT is in the 90th percentile and RM is in the 60th percentile. Now that I think about it, I find it a little hard to believe (the weights), especially since the nurse told me that they both shrunk (wrong height measurements... they were 26 inches at 4 months)... though I guess we will be seeing the specialist soon and will check the weight again then!

Anyhow... now about more exciting stuff!

-They LOVE to sit up! Mostly assisted, but they are probably going to surprise us soon with their capability to sit unassisted. If you hold their hands while they are laying down, they will lift their body and bend their arms at the elbow and sit up. RM will actually sit up and then lift his body to stand up!
-They are eating rice cereal every day (since August 8th). We introduced Avocado on August 22nd. Sometimes it is a struggle to get them to eat (if burp (reflux) is bothering them)... but if everything is going well, they will chow down their food pretty well!
-Their poop and fart has already started to stink! :) I wonder how it is going to be once they really-really start solids!
-They love to talk. Sometimes even in the middle of the night!
-They are starting to notice each other more. They will try to play with each others arms and legs and hair and clothes... they will also check each other out if one of them is crying! I can't wait to see them actually start playing!
-Both of them have been rolling over from belly to back for a while now. RT recently rolled over from her back to belly (on August 20th). RM has been trying to roll over for a while now, but he still has not mastered lifting up his big head (his head measures in the 100th percentile)!
-We started them with size 3 diapers this week!
-They are still wearing 3-6 months clothes, but they are starting to feel a little tight.
-They love being outside... and they especially love car rides! The babes will instantly quite down (if they are fussy) when they get into their car seats to go out!
-The best toy ever - Jumperoo... OMG, they can jump and wiggle for ever in it. Very easy to get overstimulated... but they absolutely love it!

Looking at their activity level, we are soon going to have to baby proof the house. Next month marks their half year birthday! I wish I had 48 hours in a day to cherish and enjoy each & every moment with them!

August 18, 2010

BF'ing (BM'ing) & Solids

Thank you for your supporting comments! It is just hard to accept that we have lost that real breastfeeding! And I know I will be going through another such withdrawal in a few months time! I am still pumping (~2 L)... and we plan on transitioning them to formula after 6 months and hopefully get them on to formula (+ solids) by 8 months.

The babes will be 5 months in a weeks time, which essentially means I will be continuing the marathon pumping session for 1 more month... I have been 100% committed to providing EBM and ideally I would have loved to provide breastmilk for them up until one yr. But this is not mentally easy and plus we will be traveling internationally at around the 8-9 month mark (and will be away for 1+ month) and I don't think it is going to be feasible to keep pumping the way I do at that point of time! I hate to think that my "breastmilking" days are nearing its end. The babies are what they are today pretty much because of what I have provided them (which includes average weight gain (50 percentile'ish) and also the "Reflux") and I feel fortunate to be able to do that (sp since I wasn't sure about how my supply would be with the PCOS)!

We started solids (rice cereal) on August 8th (once a day). It went from not know what the heck we were giving them to grabbing the spoon and trying to put it in to their mouth. I wouldn't say they are a pro at eating the (semi) solids, but they are improving. We are hoping to start with either avocado (high calorie), banana (high calorie) or carrots (reflux friendly) next around their 5 month birthday! I was planning on waiting till around 6 months, but the Ped seems to be okay with it and... I am aware of a few cultures starting solids as early as 3 to 4 months... and have also noticed the occurrence of reflux being less amongst those babies. May be they are able to keep their food (milk) down better? Though, I guess each child is different and each situation is different!

August 4, 2010

End of BF'ing!

Every time I think of breastfeeding, I just want to cry! I started this post some 10 days ago... and am finally getting to finish it!

The babes are 4+ months old and they are still on EBM! Which is great... but long gone are the days when I could say our actual breastfeeding days are numbered, I already feel like it is over (and now while finishing this post 10 days later... they are OVER)! And I just want to cry!

I know I have been fortunate enough to not have supply issues (till now) and have been able to provide for them. But I just feel like a failure when it comes to bf'ing. Taking care of twins is not easy, though I have been lucky to have some help at home... my parents helped us for the first 2.5 months... and then the in-laws "helped"... I might sound like a bitch and very ungrateful, but the later part of the help was more mentally stressful! With the "stress", the time I got to put the babes to my bo.obs was very less, and of course the babies lost their capability to suckle very well (I don't think they had latching issues later on)! Plus the reflux didn't help, my let down is very "heavy" (probably because of power pumping due to lack of time) and the babies at time would have to be burped even 2-3 time in 5 minutes when bf'ing. So... it is over, it is over for good... I will never ever experience babies sucking on my bo.obs... ever! And that just makes me so sad and bitter. Had it been in my control or had the babies decided they were done with it, I wouldn't have felt as bad. But, this was not my decision, nor the babies... and I am mad at the situation. May be I am just a slacker and am finding excuses... and am just blabbering! I just had hoped that bf'ing wouldn't end this way! :(

July 26, 2010

4 Months!!

There have been a lot of changes this month - a lot! My lil babies are growing into infants with a personality, they are growing as individuals!

There is supposed to be a growth spurt around 3 months (gestational age)... so we were trying to observe and make sense of their activities, their feeding habits, their sleep pattern etc... though it all looked haphazard! And then boom! I started realizing that in the last two weeks or so... they talk and talk and talk! They completely hold their neck strong. They like to stand on their feet and bounce around and laugh. They like to be held... to look around the world! They realize when one or the other is held and will stare at you point blank! They love tummy time because they can check out everything around them. They like to get in to their car seats - because they know that they get to go out! They will play with their burp cloth, their swaddles... basically anything they can get hold off. They hold their toys and talk with them. RT when on her tummy, will raise her hip and then push her feet against the ground and move ahead... where as RM, he lifts his whole body by pushing on his feet (while on his back and with the support of his head)... with the way the time has flown by, baby proofing the house is going to be just around the corner! Oh, and how can I forget... they smile at each other and try to converse! In short, they are super fun and I am loving it! :)

Though, along with all this fun stuff, there has been a return of the "reflux". Especially for RM... he had some issues in his first month, some how it got under control without meds. But things started getting bad around 2.5 weeks ago. He spent 2-3 hrs crying, trying to get his burp out; he was spitting up; had lost weight (weighed 12.9 lbs when we went to the Ped); and had drastically reduced his feed. He has been on Zantac (0.8 ml 3x day) for the last 5 days and things are much better. RT had kinda started showing similar symptoms too (not as bad though)... so the Ped recomended that we try the same dosage on her and see if things change. One thing that the meds seem to be helping her with is sleep (she is a very light sleeper - that's all together another post)! So we are going to continue her meds for a week and see how over all it is affecting her. Also, since we are nearing the age of introducing solids... I am a lil concerned... from what I have read... babies with reflux can have a hard time with solids.

Their 4 month Ped visit is on August 6th! They will be getting their second round of vaccination and we will be evaluating the reflux issue as well.

July 23, 2010

One Year... & twin blessings!!

Exactly one year ago our babies came to be! Thursday, July 23, 2009 was my ER. Even though we were striving to complete our family, it was more of a mission to get pregnant... and never had I imagined how wonderfully blessed we would be a year down the line!

The journey to reach to this point has not been easy. Even now everyday with the babies is something new, a new challenge in some form or the other. Though, seeing the twinkle in their eyes, the smiles, the recognition, the cooing... it makes it all worth it!

I love you my sweet little Darlings!!

July 13, 2010


Last year this time, I was frustrated, hopeful, disappointed, cautiously optimistic... basically a bunch of mixed feelings. Last year today (7/13), I started my stims! My babies completed 1 year on 7/9 as per their gestational age. I had an emotional outburst on that day thinking of where we were last year and where we are today... what all we had to go through to get to where we have! I can't be thankful enough for the two beautiful children we have been blessed with!

That brings me to the question of our embabies. We were fortunate enough to be able to freeze a few of our embryos... we have 5 embabies! Today, I am faced with the question of what do we do with our potential +5? Of course I have no plans of being a reality star! We (DH and I) had discussed this in the past and both were pretty sure that we wanted to give them to science. But today when I look at it... I am unsure! Several things run through my mind!

First off... my babies are already 3+ months old. I feel like time is flying by too fast, these days will never come... and if we stop at two, I am never going to get to experience this ever again... which makes me want to go for a third child. Though the practical and rational side of me knows that we are a happy family of 4!

Recently, one of the IF sista that I follow, had a BFN at one of the best clinics in the country. From what I know of her (through her blog), I know that we have similar backgrounds... a thought ran through my mind. What if I donated our embabies to them. I know it is easier said than done (legally and practically)... of course I never really proposed this to her, but I brought this hypothetical situation up with DH and he was not really comfortable. I am not comfortable blindly donating the embabies for adoption, because all my life I will wonder how the babies are doing, what they look like etc. But, looking at this IF world my heart just sinks to donate the embabies to science, where I know there are fellow IF'ers who have are still struggling to get to where I have reached. Though, I guess it is better to donate to science than just discard the embabies, because hopefully the science which has helped me reach where I have today, might be able to better help the next generation!

If you have frozen embabies, what decisions have you made?

June 26, 2010

3 Months!!!

Happy 3 Months Birthday my Dear Babies!!!

Every post I post seems to say that time is flying by... and it sure is! There is so much I want to say, but I have been really busy with guests. There are a few thoughts going on in my head and I will be posting about it next.

A few updates about the babies...

-They are already wearing size 2 diapers.

-They fit in to 3-6 month clothes.

-They roll over with assistance.

-They are grasping toys.

-They get very easily entertained with things which might seem simple to us. Every morning, RT cracks up and gets super excited when the sun rays peeping through the window blinds dance on the wall! It's hilarious and super cute!

-Their favorite toy is a mobile which I designed (with inspiration from HGTV) and my parents made. It is very simple... we have 4 different colors of ribbon alternating and hanging off of a ring. The babes love to stare at it and get a kick out of it when we spin it for them. The whole thing cost under $5!

-RM has different cries for most things. I am hungry, I need to be burped, I need attention etc. RM has one standard cry for everything and it is sometimes difficult to figure out what she wants. Though she will very easily make us know if she is pissed!

-Initially we had thought that RT was more easy going than RM... she seemed more patient. But things have flipped. RM is the more patient one now... he is very easy going and ever smiling. Where as RT has turned in to the more demanding baby.

-RT is more vocal than RM. She will converse with you with geeee, haguuuu, dhaaai. She will make noises if you are not looking to grab your attention. And once you look at her... she will give you the cutest smile! RM loves to talk as well and can smile for ever!

-RM is a great sleeper, he will make sure he gets the naps he needs. Where as RT... OMG... sometimes we really have to work on her to get her to nap!

-RM is great at tummy time. He perfectly holds his head and checks out stuff around him. Where as RT... she will use that opportunity to relax and sleep on her tummy. I bet she is going to be a tummy sleeper... I am going to have to watch out on her!

-Both of them have discovered sucking on their hand. They will suck on their hand to soothe themselves when they want to fall asleep.

June 5, 2010

2 Month Ped Visit & Breastfeeding

We had our 2 month pediatrician visit today. Ms. Snuglesaurus (RT) and Mr. Smilie (RM) had their 2 month vaccinations today too and have been a little cranky (today). They have really caught up on the their measurements. She is weighing 11.5 lbs (50th percentile), measures 23 inches (50th percentile) in length, and the head measurement falls in 75th percentile. He is weighing 12 lbs (50th percentile), 22.24 inches (25th percentile) in length, and the head measurement falls in 90th percentile. It is amazing to see how much they have grown (10 weeks today). During their initial visit to the ped, they were barely on the scale at around 5 percentile. They go back on Aug 6 for their 4 month visit.

Their progress brings me to breastfeeding. They are still on breastmilk (occasional formula feed - once a day at the most)... note that I am not saying breastfeeding! Yes, I am still pumping... there was a time when we were struggling with getting one or the other to latch on. Currently, they do latch on pretty well, but we still have not mastered tandem feeding with their different schedules and personalities. I have been through a phase where I felt guilty because I couldn't directly breastfeed them. But looking at their progress, I realize that what matters the most is that they are getting what is best for them and what they need. I am pumping around 2L of milk every day... and I am glad I can provide for them up until now. In an effort to get them to breastfeed directly, frustration would have resulted in neither them getting enough milk and me giving up on the idea of providing them milk, and I am happy to stand where I do today.

I really want to thank Baby Smiling in Back Seat (Mom of twins) and Tubeless in Seattle (Mom of triplets) for providing me with the guidance about breastfeeding. They both recommended The Breastfeeding Mother's Guide to Making More Milk ... and that is the best book to refer to if you are expecting multiples or do anticipate some trouble with breastfeeding. That book has been a blessing to me. Understanding how supply and demand works and how important stimulation is for good milk supply... is something this book very well gets across. It is an easy read and you can read some of the pages on Amazon (Search Inside This Book) if you want to get a gist of the book.

May 26, 2010

2 Months!!

My heart melts to see these babies grow up so fast! They are 2 months young today! Time has been flying by! They both keep changing every day and I sometimes wonder if that is how it will be all their (young) life. They surprise me with a new sound, with a new look, with their strength, with their personality. They are little charmers!

Here is an update for RM (baby boy) and RT (baby girl)...
-They pretty much hold their neck.
-They love being outdoors (especially RT... she gets super excited when she is outside).
-They gulp down anywhere between 3 to 6 oz of milk. And consume up to 30 oz of milk every day.
-They cluster feed in the evening and then go with a stretch of ~6 hours of no feed/sleep! Rest of the feeds are still 3 to 4 hours apart.
-RM smiles and smiles and smiles... it is hard not to find him smile! He has gone from a demanding baby to a smiley baby! The only time he cries is when he is hungry... so is the case with RT. Though, RT has recently started truly smiling in the last 2 days.
-RM is on the apnea monitor only when he sleeps at night! And the monitor will be off after his shots.
-Both of them will be getting their 2 month shots (first round of vaccinations) on June 4th!
-RM is super active... he does not like to be held very close... he likes to check out stuff. RT is super cuddly! She will snuggle in and can stay with you forever!
-They have transitioned in to their nursery. The first night (May 18) they slept in their nursery, it felt like a mini-graduation (I had to cry!).
-They both have started interacting with folks around them! They will try to make some sound to gather attention.
-RM loves his swing and RT loves her rocker (especially to check out the view outside the window).
-They doze off as soon as they sit in their car seats. At least as of now, they sleep through car rides. Though, we haven't had super long rides yet!

May 15, 2010

Smiles :)

Our babies are smiling! Well, they kind of started smiling at around 1 month... but it still felt very involuntary... and then recently they have been all smiles! It is hard to say when exactly they started smiling... but it has been between week 4 and 7... and I can't stop looking at them. They are the best smiles ever!

May 5, 2010


Our babies are almost 6 weeks old! Time is flying by... they are getting bigger day by day (RM weighed 8 lbs 5.6 oz and RT weighed 8 lbs 11.4 oz at their 1 month appointment... their next appointment is at 2 months - they get their vaccinations then (they have had none till now))... interacting more day by day! They absolutely do not fit in to their newborn outfits or newborn diapers!

RM has his Apnea monitoring appointment this Friday (after 1 month of monitoring)... we are hoping that he doesn't really need to be monitored (at all or as much) and he can get off of it pretty soon... he is not too fond of the belt (with the monitors on it).

I also have my 6 week OB appointment this Friday. I will be getting a prescription to check my blood sugar (GD) again! We will also be discussing how we are going to manage my PCOS! Keeping it under control naturally would be the best option... if that doesn't work I might have to go back to BCP (which I am not very fond off). I guess, I am also allowed to be a normal human being after 6 weeks. Though, I still don't feel like it yet. Mostly with my bones and joints. I am so stiff and sore most of the time, that I wonder when I will feel like my normal self! I am considering getting some massage... there should be some postpartum massage?! My OB had mentioned that I was okay to drive around after my 2 week appointment. So I started driving at around 3 weeks... that was after 4 months of not driving. It felt weird... it felt like I was visiting an old place I had driven around several years ago.

I celebrated my birthday this (past) weekend... we were home with the babies... it was nice to just stay back and relax with my greatest gifts in life! That reminded me of my birthday last year... the day before (the "birthday"), my nurse had called to tell me that my 2nd IUI cycle had failed! Things have changed so much in the last 1 year! That brings me to the point as to whether we will TTC again. From what we had discussed before, I don't think we will be going that route. I do miss all the kicking and movements... the feeling that I was growing two babies in me! But, with all that I have been through (IF (IUI/IVF), Subchorionic Hematoma (@ 8w), GD (@ 14w), and Shortened Cervix, Contractions, Bedrest (@ 24w)) I was constantly on the guard and scared, I cherish this (current) phase more than anything else in life! RM & RT are our greatest blessings and we are a happy family of 4!

Dr. Google

I have realized that I no longer consult Dr. Google as much as I used to! During the IF cycles, I looked up every darn thing I could think of... from medications, to side effects, to symptoms, to studies, to statistics... it seemed like knowledge was power!

But right now, I don't seem to look up stuff. It's not that I am no longer inquisitive. It's just that some times I really don't know what babies are doing or feeling. There could be several things that could pop up if I consulted Dr. Google and that would probably make me uneasy! So right now my consultation with Dr. Google happens only after I speak with the Ped! And it is amazing how many times I have called the Ped with some small basic questions! And even more amazing than that is that most of the time our conversation revolves around poop and pee! :P

April 25, 2010

One Month!

Our babies are 1 month young! This seems surreal!

I was on bedrest for 3 months and that seemed long... and this 1 month has just flown by! I can hardly remember how the bedrest was (though the after effects still persist)!

Some of our highlights...
*We are awake a lot more than we used to be (sometimes 3 hours at a stretch).
*We admire each other when we are awake (together) and wonder how we fit in Mama's belly!
*We are almost holding our neck (for a brief period)!
*When we are awake, we will track you with our eyes.
*We have a few toys which are bright red in color, we love staring at them and try to reach them!
*We love massage and bathing/sponging.
*We love staring outside the bright window in our bedroom!
*We take ~3oz of milk during every feed (every 2-3 hrs).
*We hate stuffy diapers, yet we hate to change them!
*We are growing out of our newborn outfits!
*We love to snooze around in our Boppy.
*We love our grandparents a lot and would like to thank them for helping out our Mama & Daddy!


Who am I kidding!?

Yes, I have mentioned in the past, that it is going pretty well. But what defines the "pretty well" part? Basically with my PCOS, I had very little hopes on my supply, forget exclusively breastfeeding! So whatever I ended up with seemed GREAT to me!

I am not trying to brag here and I hope I am not jinxing myself either! I just need to get my thoughts out, so I can look back and figure how things progressed, and may be this might help some one in the future too!

As mentioned before, I had a pretty decent amount of colostrum and my milk came in in less than 48 hours! Currently, I am producing between 50 to 60 oz of milk every day. I pump approximately 6-8 times a day (including middle of the night) (which is less as per the recommended standard)... I would like to pump more frequently, but there just doesn't seem to be enough time... and that scares the crap out of me because I feel like I might not be able to produce more milk as the babies' demand goes up, or my body might think that it does not need to produce so much milk right now (as far as enhancing my supply, I almost started fenugreek tablets to get my body to produce more milk as the babies start drinking more milk - but I felt like the babies had some reflux issues the days following the herb intake... so I stopped - may be it was just a coincidence)! So, the actual "breastmilk" feeding part ends up being Expressed Breast Milk (EBM) (we just supplement with formula 1-2 times a day - to kind of keep them used to it)! I get the babies to latch on to me a couple of times a day... but no where close to the number of times I pump! And that makes me feel very guilty!

The situation is such, that our boy (RM) is very demanding, he needs to feed every 1.5 to 2 hours... he sleeps through feeds, takes for ever to wake up and can be very aggressive! He seems to have more of a reflux issue too (it seems manageable so far - the PED recommended Zantac if things get worse - which I hope not). Where as our girl (RT) is very patient... she feeds every 3 hours approximately. So tandem feeding them gets difficult, plus as mentioned before my left breast produces less milk, so the baby on the left struggles a little more. So, whenever I end up actually BF'ing them... I have to give up on tandem feeding... or the baby is not really full (even after 30 min of feeding) and ends up supplementing on EBM! They are feeding 3+ oz of EBM during every meal right now. Also, if I spend the whole time solely BF'ing, I am afraid I will have no time left to pump and produce the actual volume they both need.

Last Thursday, I was very disappointed that they are probably going to stop BF'ing directly... because they prefer the easy to get bottle nipple. I started questioning myself as to how long I could pump... what would I do after my parents left (and I was on my own with the babies)... what would I do when I start venturing out (carry pump everywhere and keep pumping?)... would my supply increase? Though, I guess one good thing is... at least I can get them the milk they so need (for as long as I possibly can)! And then, my daughter (RT) surprised me. On Friday morning, my sweetie pie decided that she just didn't want the bottle while she was in my arms. She was hungry, but wouldn't take the bottle... she wanted my boobie! It touched my heart! It makes me feel that some day may be both will be more breastfeed than be given EBM!

I have been trying to offer RT my breast as much as I can... and she seems to be demanding it more too. Though, with pumping every couple of hours, I am not always full to provide her with the optimum milk. Though she keeps trying. She loves to snuggle around and stare in to my eyes, it melts my heart away! I just hope I can satisfy her and don't turn her away (with my pumping schedule). I also hope that I can get our boy to the same level (and both - beyond) too!

April 13, 2010

Here I go again...

There is so much that I want to get across and record that again I have I go with the bullet list... till I get a little more regular on blogging!

-Our miracles will be 3 weeks old tomorrow and today we complete 40 weeks (gestational age)!

-Umbilical cords of RT (our baby girl) and RM (our baby boy) came off on April 9 and 11 respectively. So they had their first baths on the 10th and 11th respectively. We were sponging them up until then (as per the Peds advice).

-Our babies poopoo changed from black to greenish to yellow by the end of second day! :) I thought that was impressive and something worth remembering! :P

-RT and RM weighed 6 lbs 8 oz and 6 lbs and 3 oz respectively at their 2 week Ped appointment.

-RT used to be all over the place inside of me (constantly changed position)... and we had imagined that she would be the feisty/active one! However, she is more patient/calm... she will cry only if she is hungry and her feed has been delayed. Where as RM... he needs everything now! We are thinking that he probably used to take up the position that he wanted inside of me and hence RT used to move around to get herself adjusted/situated!

-As far as the schedule for babies... they get up to eat every 2-3 hours. There are times when they both are on a schedule and then there are times when they just throw us off by wanting to eat in less than an hour. As of now we are not trying to put them (forcefully) on the same schedule. Typically they will sleep through the nights (other than getting up for feeding). Both of them take between 2-3 oz of feed every time. They both like to gulp down their food when bottle fed (EBM and 1-2 formula feeds during night)... which is leading to lots of burp... we just switched to Dr. Browns... and that seems to slow them down a little and makes them a little less gassy!

-My parents have been a great-great help in this whole process. I can not imagine doing this all by myself. And I am thoroughly impressed by couples who do take care of their twins (in the beginning) on their own! Breastfeeding (BF) twins without help at home is probably next to impossible! The only reason I can devote time to nursing our babies or providing them EBM is because I really am not doing much house stuff (though I am picking it up as I get back to the new "old me" after the bedrest and c-section... small things still ware me off).

-As far as BF'ing goes, the babies latch on pretty well... that is to the right breast, left is still a little bit of struggle (with my "inverted" nipple). This makes tandem feeding difficult. Also, I have realized my right breast produces more milk than the left... so I feel bad to put one baby on the left where he/she has to struggle more! Also, something I wanted to mention -
Bella B Nipple Nurture Butter has been a life saver for sore nipples!

-I had gained around 50 lbs including IVF weight (of 5 lbs)... I had lost 30 lbs at my 2 week visit with my OB! So I guess I just have 20 more to go... and that is something I had lost when I had tried to get healthy before we started ttc! May be I am being a little too optimistic... with very less of "me time" in hand, loosing those 20 lbs is going to be challenging!

-And finally, I updated my blog background!

April 10, 2010

Baby Update

We had a freak episode last Saturday, April 3rd... where our baby boy choked on some vitamin drops. The medicine went in too fast and he did not like that! We ran to the ER to get him checked out. They did an x-ray to make sure nothing had gotten in to his lungs and made sure his blood work was normal. We were admitted to the pediatric department. The standard protocol for such incidents in the hospital is to monitor for apnea which includes monitoring heart rate, respiration and oxygen saturation and looking for any symptoms of pneumonia. He was put on a antibiotics as a preemptive measure in case there was any airway infection.

He was also put on a four-channel 12 hour test. This test was performed by the neonatology department. He was put on heartbeat, respiration, oxygen saturation and breathing (two probes under nostrils) monitors. They analyzed the data and concluded there were no apnea incidents during the test.

All the other test results came back normal. However, because this was a choking episode the standard protocol of the hospital is to send such newborns with Apnea Monitor. He will be on the monitor for a month. There are two probes on his chest under a soft belt which records heartbeat and respiration data in a unit. If heartbeat or respiration goes below a threshold, a loud alarm will sound (believe me this sound is very loud). After a month, we go back to Apnea center in the hospital where they will download this data and see if there were any incidents of apnea.

So far our son is doing extremely well!!!

Twin Pictures!

Here are the portrait pictures of our twins taken at the hospital on day 3.

Going with the trend of this blog (for the sake of privacy), our baby boy will be called RM and baby girl will be called RT on the blog.

Both together...

Our baby girl...

Our baby boy...

April 4, 2010

Say a Little Prayer for us!

I have been meaning to update and post my birth story... but!

Our little boy is in the hospital being tested for apnea! He had a choking episode which freaked us out and sent us running to the ER. The monitoring seems to be going fine so far... but we need to see how things progress. He might be on monitor at home!

Our girl had a mild case of jaundice when she was born... she was not given light therapy etc, but was just monitored.

Please say a little prayer for our little ones! Our babies are already over a week old!

April 3, 2010

Our Birth Story!

My Babies are already two weeks old (yesterday)! Happy 2 week Birthday Babies! Time flies!

This is going to be a detailed post, since it is going to be my way of logging the birth of my babes.

On March 26th, the day started with me hogging down a heavy breakfast, since my OB had said I could eat/drink 8 hrs prior to the C-section! I managed to get a good nights sleep and was pretty fresh for the procedure. I cheated a little and probably had around 5 oz of water in those 8 hrs... my throat was way too dry... and I had done this during IVF ER and things seemed okay then!

We (my parents, husband and I) left for the hospital at around 0130 pm. There was some confusion with my name during the admitting and pre-admission testing (my name is way too long and doesn't fit on the drivers license... and the hospital likes to keep the name consistent with the id... and I didn't want my name to be listed in an inappropriate way)... so we had to get that fixed with some other legal id as a proof. We reached the L&D check in desk at around 0200 pm. Once that was fixed we were all set for the c-section. We were then taken in to the recovery room at around 0245 pm. There they had to draw my blood again (the same testing as the pre-admission testing) because of the name confusion. That took some time. The babies heart beats (NST) and my blood pressure was monitored. I was given an IV and some antibiotics. The anaesthesiologist stopped by and chatted with us. We had a small conversation about my IVF and it seems that he knows my RE personally, and they were going in for ER the next day! It was humbling to see some one who is involved day in and day out in delivering babies going through the same procedure we had been through! My OB arrived at around 0345, we chatted for a few minutes, and then signed a few documents. He checked my vital stats and meds to make sure we were ready for the surgery and shortly after we were whisked away to the OR. My husband had changed into his scrubs and was asked to wait outside the OR while I was prep'ed. I was in the OR by 0400 pm. The spinal anesthesia wasn't as bad over all... though momentarily it hurt pretty bad.

Things moved very swiftly there after! My husband was with me in a short while. When the surgery started, I could sense tugging and pulling, but couldn't tell a thing of what was going on. I was consciously trying to pay attention to what was being said. My Blood pressure was pretty stable most of the time... but later it started dropping and I felt quite dazed. Things seemed a little mumbled and I was trying not to get zoned out. I was given some meds to stabilize my blood pressure.

And then, at 0426 pm our baby boy was born weighing 5 lbs 12 oz... tears started rolling down my cheeks, I just couldn't stop them. My husband almost ran to see the baby, but he was asked to wait till they cleaned him up. Our girl followed him at 0427 pm weighing 6 lbs 3 oz. They scored a 9, 9 and 6, 9 on APGAR score respectively. My husband clicked a few pictures while they were being weighed and swaddled. Then the nurses brought them over to my husband (who was then seated by my head). Both the babies were very alert. After few pictures with my husband, nurses put the babies right next to my cheeks. Our daughter looked right into my eyes and that piercing look is something I will never forget! Our nurses took our first family pictures.

Our babies and my husband soon left for newborn nursery while I was being cleaned and stitched up. That one hour just flew by and by 0500 pm, I was out of OR and into the Recovery room. They took vitals of babies in the nursery. Our daughter and son measured at 19 inches. Our daughter's blood sugar came low (40 and 44) and therefore they decided to feed her first meal right away.

I was in the Recovery room after 0500 pm. It took for ever for my numbness to wear off (I couldn't wiggle my toes or move my lower body at all)... as a result, I was in the recovery for almost 2.5 hrs. I was moved to my room at around 0800 pm and was so anxious to see our babies. My husband and parents had been visiting them while I was in the Recovery. Our babies made their grand entrance at around 0900 pm! I tried to put them to my breast, but they were way too sleepy! I had requested for a breast pump, which had arrived by then... so after cuddling the babies for some time, I started pumping. It was a great relief to see some colostrum! I think I actually had around 25-30 cc colostrum at the first attempt!

We sent the babies to the nursery that night... I continued pumping (4-6 times in a day) through the night and the next two days. My milk came in in less than 48 hours! I tried to latch the babies on to my breast a couple of times in those two days, but it wasn't very successful! The lactation consultant at the hospital was not available over the weekend. So we kinda had to wait till Monday. Though the nurses were great help in getting me started. It seems I have "inverted" nipples (which I never had imagined was the case)... so the latch assist came pretty handy (and still does). My left nipple is more so than the right. So, my right one had been more active than the left one till we figured things out!

Our boys blood group is the same as mine and our girls blood group doesn't match mine, so that means she had positive coombs, so I guess her chances of having jaundice was higher... so she was tested for the same. Her readings were on the lower end of the high billurubin count... so she was continuously monitored till we were discharged from the hospital (and we have been going to the Ped to monitor it as well after coming home).

As far as my state was concerned, I was okay till Saturday afternoon (till all the C-section meds were in)... but once that started wearing off... I was pretty miserable. I could hardly get up, move or walk. A trip to the bathroom (after the catheter was removed on Saturday afternoon) was 30 min long! So, we ended up leaving the babies in the nursery through the nights (during our hospital stay), while I pumped a couple of times. The pain continued for almost a week and the only thing that helped me was Percocet! I am now occasionally taking Motrin if I have a rough day. It has taken almost 2 weeks for swelling on my feet to go away (I had no swelling during the pregnancy).

Over all the C-section and the stay at the hospital went pretty well and we were happy to bring the babies home on Tuesday, March 30, 2010.

March 28, 2010

Our Babies...

Our Babies have arrived...

Born on March 26, 2010; baby girl weighed 6 lbs 3 oz and 19" long, and baby boy weighed 5 lbs 12 oz and 19" long.

More to follow soon...

March 25, 2010

C-Section Tomorrow!

I am 37 weeks today! ...And still home, so I am assuming/hoping tomorrow (Friday, March 26th, 2010) is going to be the big day (as scheduled)! We visited the hospital and wrapped up admitting and pre-admission testing (b/w) this morning. The c-section is scheduled for 03:30 pm... we are supposed to get a call this evening to confirm the "exact" time (just in case if we can get an earlier slot).

On a personal level, I am feeling extremely calm! I have been counting down hours... but besides that I am not panicking. I can usually get pretty worked up... but I guess I have been waiting for this for a very long time and mentally I am ready to hold our babies in my arms. However, at the same time, I have not once felt rushed to have the babies out till now. I guess preterm labor scare at 24w (with all the medication, monitoring and bedrest... besides IF, bleeding and GD) can make you want to hold on for as long as you possibly can! I am just hoping that there are no crazy complications and the babies are healthy. I am really looking forward to BF'ing and hoping that my body cooperates.

I want to thank you gals for all the support and the best wishes! Oh... and also, tomorrow I complete 1 year of blogging!!

March 23, 2010

Pioneer Reflects on Future of Reproductive Medicine

Scientist at Work: Pioneer Reflects on Future of Reproductive Medicine

"Dr. Howard W. Jones Jr., the surgeon who, along with his wife, Dr. Georgeanna Seegar Jones, helped to create the first test tube baby born in the United States, turned 99 in December. He is still opinionated, humble and charming, and he has a lot to say about the past and future of the baby-making business...."

March 19, 2010

36 Weeks... and 7 days...!

We completed 36 weeks yesterday!!! Looking back 12w when the bedrest started... 36w seemed so distant. I counted down hours of every day at one point of time! I started calming down a little bit after crossing 30w! Every week seemed like a bonus after that. Emotional and the physical aspect of the long bedrest is beyond words. Yet, here I am at 36w1d today... just 7 days away from our scheduled c-section!

Yes, we rescheduled (from March 31, 2010) to Friday, March 26, 2010 at 37w1d! My husband and I were of the opinion that since technically 37w is full term, we would rather schedule the c-section around that time than have an emergency situation later on. Yes, things can still change anytime, but at least we will be trying our best to get to 37w! Our OB agreed with us, and after a long anxious wait today he finally called at around 0800 pm and informed that we are all set! I am technically off of bedrest as of 36w, but I am so not in a shape to move around... so I am just generally going to take it easy for the next 1 week!

NST and BPP have been going well. Though, they are starting to see some increase in fluid for the babies. It seems that in this stage of the pregnancy it is possible to see increase in fluid if the mom is diabetic. Even though I am not on any medication, I am borderline and have been monitoring my blood sugar (4 times a day) and watching my diet since week 14. So, we will be seeing how things look during Tuesday's NST and might go early if there is any drastic change!

I am just hoping and praying that everything goes well, and we have two healthy babies with us next Friday!

March 17, 2010

Fed Up With Lunch: The School Lunch Project

There was an article on Yahoo titled...

Would you volunteer to eat school lunch every day to prove a point? This teacher did.

"...A teacher in Illinois is illustrating her concerns candidly on her own anonymous blog. I like to think of her as an undercover activist for the cause of feeding our children well -- or at least better. She is spending 2010 eating school lunch every day, documenting photos of the (let's be honest, sad-looking) food on her tray, providing some nutritional information, commenting on the taste, and detailing the not-so-pretty bellyaches she's had since beginning the project. It's all chronicled on her blog "Fed Up With Lunch: The School Lunch Project" and through Tweets...."

The ultimate goal of this IF blogosphere being attaining Motherhood... and with so many of the gals involved in the education system, I thought this article was worth posting!

March 11, 2010

35/35 & more...

It is 35/35 today... that is 35w preggers and 35d to go! I always found it exciting to read it on other blogs. Not that it technically counts for twin PG, but it always fascinated me! :)

Anyhow, through the last 35 weeks, 5 of my friends have had *news* to share - gotten pregnant!

The closest of them all is technically just a week behind me as per the real EDD (in April). She told me about her status when she had just figured out (between week 4-5) and I was still in the closet... she knew about the IVF, but I had requested her to not ask about the IVF outcome till I came up with it! I was in shock for a few weeks (as usual, they weren't even ttc their first one)! I finally opened up to her, though our relationship has not been as open as it used to be (we have been good friends since high school and we are the only two who are exclusively in touch with each other for over a decade)... though it is getting better with time.

Then came the news of another friend whose EDD is 4 weeks before mine... so she is ready to pop anytime now! That felt more like a surprised shock - it didn't hit me as hard! May be I had started believing in myself a little more since I was in the second trimester.

This followed by a friend who got PG with her 2nd IVF... I was thrilled! I was so excited and happy for her... she recently delivered a cute and chubby baby boy!

Then, in the last 2 weeks, 2 other friends revealed that they are expecting their 2nd child (they both are 2 weeks apart - due in Sept). How did I feel this time? Numb! I am happy for them, but I am numb.

The genuine excitement I used to have for (non-IF) friends who used to get PG back in the days seems to have disappeared. My reaction has changed from shock & pain to numbness... will it change further? I don't know! When I know there are several of my dear blog buddies still trying and several people in real life still struggling, the IF in me will always stay on the guard!

March 9, 2010

Free Huggies Diapers from Costco

Free Huggies Diapers (2 boxes - Size 2 to 6) from Costco!

March 5, 2010

34 Weeks!!

34w1d today! And there is a lot to report!

I had an OB appointment on 03/03. We did the
GBS test. I haven't heard back from the doc (I need to follow up), but I guess since he didn't call back it is probably negative. Cervix was still closed! I have gained close to 50 lbs (including ~5 lbs of IVF wt)!!! It is gonna be fun to go back to the pre-pregnancy weight - but I guess anything for healthy and chunky babies! My OB does not measure fundal height (for twin PG) - but we did measure this time and I was measuring 42w! We discussed about HUAM and Procardia (see below).

I stopped monitoring on the HUAM (Wednesday, 03/03 was the last day). I used it for close to 9 weeks... it probably is one of the reasons that I could stay sane through the last 2 months! It was reassuring to see that I was not contracting-away beyond the threshold, and at the same time it alerted us enough to take action when required! Though we had now reached a point were the contractions were obviously increasing (I couldn't feel most of them)... it's but natural to be contracting significantly at 34w with twins (especially since it has been going on from end of 2nd trimester). Also, after 34w typically the docs will not stop labor, so it did not make sense to continue monitoring.

I reduced the medication (Procardia) as well... from 80 mg (20 mg every 6 hrs) to 60 mg (20 mg every 8 hrs)... and I will be dropping it further (gradually), and I will be completely off of it by 36w (assuming I reach that far)!

We had a growth scan today (03/05)... everything looked good. Our little boy weighed 5 lbs 1 oz (around 56% ...up from 35th% previously) and our little girl weighed 5 lbs 8 oz (around 66%). I feel so much more relieved after reaching 34 weeks and with these weight measurements!

NST and BPP continue every week for now. We are scheduled for a c-section on Wednesday, March 31, 2010 at 37w6d! Though, my OB is thinking it is probably going to be earlier than that.

We installed the car seats today, and we will be getting them inspected tomorrow! The pediatrician that I had mentioned in my previous post... one of my friend (who gave birth recently) is going to the same ped, and she really liked the group... so that's a good thing! This weekend is going to be a major get things done weekend (of course by my parents and DH - while I lay around and give orders :P)!

February 28, 2010


Still hanging on... had one small hospital visit (half day on 02/23) for monitoring and some fluids (IV), since I was going beyond the threshold on HUAM. Though I was not really feeling most of the contractions - so I didn't expect much. The docs did fFN again and it came back negative. Previous two NST & BPP were good.

My biggest concern for this week was - my OB was on vacation... and I really didn't want to deal with other doc if something were to happen. He is back in the office tomorrow, and I am hoping that I am not speaking too soon. I guess this is a risk you take for choosing a doctor who practices independently (and not in a group).

I forgot to mention this earlier, but we finalized on a Pediatrician. He was recommended by my OB and has some good reviews. I could not go speak with him in person, but we did speak on the phone and he seems to be nice. It is actually a group of 4 docs and they see their patients on weekends too in case of emergency.

I also wanted to thank you girls for the information and recommendations regarding breastfeeding. I am determined to BF and hoping that my body will cooperate!

February 12, 2010

31 Weeks

Yes, I am still there! 7 weeks of bedrest, and hoping and praying for a few more weeks! With my horizontal constraint, this is going to be another bulleted (paragraph'ish) post....

-We saw the babies yesterday during the growth scan. I am amazed at how big they have grown! Our boy weighed 3 lbs 4 oz and the girl weighed 3 lbs 12 oz at 31w. The MFM seems to be okay with the difference in the weight. We were told that since they have good blood supply, the placenta and amniotic fluid looks good, and they have been growing at the same rate (with the difference), it should not be a concern. We are going in for the next growth scan in 3 weeks (assuming all goes well). As mentioned before, the hospital does not perform cervical scans after 28w. The last time we scanned (at 28w), the cervix measured 1.9 cm.

-I will be starting with weekly Non Stress Test (NST) and Biophysical Profile (BPP) from the following week.

-I am still just monitoring my GD (since week 14), and haven't gotten onto any meds, though I sure am border line (fasting between 90-100, and occasional dinner highs). We had to bump up my Procardia meds from 10 mg every 6 hours to 20 mg every 6 hours! My contractions were kind of going above the set threshold all the time, and that was making me super anxious! The increased level of meds seem to be helping at this point of time. I am still on HUAM.

-fFN on Feb 3rd (last OB appointment) came back negative. Next OB appointment is on Feb 17. We are considering not doing any more fFN's since we are nearing the arrival, and I am just going to freak out if the results are positive. The cervix was still closed during the OB visit.

-On home front, most of the shopping is done! Of course most of it was done online - I love Amazon (great reviews, no shipping, no taxes, and most items cheaper than anywhere else) - the profit Amazon has been bragging about is probably partially because of me!! ;) Most of the clothes were purchased during Thanksgiving sale. We de-taged all the clothes yesterday, and some of the clothes are in the dryer right now (as I type this). Some of the items I purchased that I really liked (besides, the regular baby monitor, feeding pillows etc) are: BreathableBaby (reasonably priced blankets/bumpers, good reviews & supposedly "safer"!), Skip Hop Duo Double Deluxe Diaper Bag, Baby Trend Double Snap & Go Stroller (we are not buying any other travel system/stroller right now), JJ Cole Bundle Me (saves money on buying tons of jackets which they outgrow shortly... and if the current weather trend continues, I am sure this will be put to good use), Itzbeen Baby Care Timer. How good these items really are, I will only know when I use 'em! :P

-I had a baby shower the weekend of my 28th week scan. I was so not sure if I was going to be able to make it (till all the scans and results... so I was trying not to make a big deal out of it). But at the same time, I was not ready for a shower before reaching 28w either. It wasn't really a traditional one... it was basically a couples party! We played a few (gender neutral) games... the food was awesome! It was so nice to meet everybody and celebrate this life changing event! And OMG, I am overwhelmed and humbled by how much the babies received!

-The babies will be sleeping in our room for the first 2 months at least, till we get a hang of the feeding and sleeping (at least a tiny bit). So the nursery is not completely done done... but we have purchased most of the stuff and have things figured out.

-I intend on breastfeeding - assuming I have enough supply (I have heard of PCOS interfering with this). I have seen good reviews about Goat's Rue, Fenugreek Seed Capsules and Mother's Milk Herbal Tea to increase milk supply. Does anybody have a good personal experience with it? In case we need to go the route of expressed breast milk (EBM) or have to supplement, we are going for glass bottles... I have purchased a few of Evenflo, Dr. Browns and Munchkins. Will load up on them depending upon how the babies like them and how well they work. I am thinking of renting the pump from the hospital to begin with.

-We are going with C-section (as mentioned before), I am not willing to risk anything (which is in my hand) after this long journey.

-We did a NICU tour - I hope we don't end up there, but it was reassuring seeing the whole set up and progress of the babies there (the hospital has level III NICU). As far as the classes are concerned, we did the breastfeeding and baby care class. I was not going to be able to make it to the marvelous multiples class (5 sessions of 2.5 hours each was going to be too much for me to handle)... I am trying to read up and watch videos etc... that's probably the best I can do!

January 22, 2010

28W1D - Cervix & Growth Scan Update

First of all 'Thank You' for all your encouraging comments and support. I am sorry, I might not have replied back to you personally (since I am slacking a little with blogging)... but I am still reading your comments and posts, and they mean a lot to me.

Here is a brief update...

01/15/10 Cervix: 1.8 cm

01/20/10 fFN (@ OB): Negative

01/20/10 OB Update: There is a possibility of me getting on to medications (pills not insulin) for GD at my next visit (02/03/10)... my values have been steadily rising recently (started monitoring since 14W)!

01/22/10 Cervix: 1.9/2.0 cm!! The cervix has been going down by ~0.3 cm each week... so this was totally unexpected! I know things can go in any direction, but this is a momentary relief!

01/22/10 Growth: Baby Boy is weighing 2 lbs 8 oz and Baby Girl is weighing 2 lbs 12 oz at 28W1D!! I hope they keep growing at this rate and get stronger day by day!

The hospital I go to does not perform cervix scans after 28W... so this was our last one (unless things change drastically - major contractions/labor/fFN)... the next growth scan will be in 3 weeks (02/12/10). This will be the longest I will have gone w/o an u/s since the NT scan (12W) and first cervix scan (16W). And I am willing to wait - cause that would mean that things are relatively stable. When I enquired with my OB and the MFM, they said that one is not admitted at this stage for a (super) shortened cervix, unless it is accompanied by major contractions or labor or positive fFN. So, for now the bedrest, HUAM and medication (Procardia) continues. I can't thank my Mom and DH enough for making the bedrest (4 weeks now) as smooth as it has been.