August 30, 2009

2 ER Visits in 2 Days!!!

Let me start off with saying that (so far) the twins are doing fine and so am I! I am directly going to get to the story… since I am a little tired and (still) a bit startled!

The week following my first heartbeat u/s was progressing well and then the Thursday (before the second heartbeat u/s)… late in the afternoon I started having this weird feeling. Fortunately I was home… I started having blurred vision and a headache… I attributed that to “low” sugar and decided to have a berry milkshake and eat a sandwich! While prepping the food, I realized that my left foot started tingling… that sensation moved on to my left hand (mainly palm), followed by left side of my lips, tongue and gums! That sure did freak me out. All the tingling eventually turned in to numbness and a headache! Ever since getting PG, I have had tingling and numbness once in a while… but one sided and also mouth - never! I called my nurse and she said that I should go the ER if it continues or if I am uncomfortable – and yes, one sided tingling and numbness is not normal (sometimes associated with a stroke). My DH came home early and we decided to go to the ER. I felt generally okay but we did not want to take any chances! At the ER they did a bunch of b/w… everything seemed normal (HCG had gone up). I was offered a CAT scan, but was told that it was totally up to me if I wanted to do it since I was PG. We decided to not do the scan (if things repeated we would probably go for it is what we thought). We also didn’t do the u/s since I was going to the RE the following morning. We came back home after mid-night… this visit was may be an overkill… but I guess it is better to be safe than sorry.

The following morning (Friday, 08/28), we went for our regular u/s and b/w to the RE’s (at 7W1D). The doctor recommended seeing a neurologist if these symptoms show up again. The u/s went well… we saw our two little peanuts, they had grown a lot and had a strong heartbeat (~140’s)! The b/w results reconfirmed what we saw at the ER (HCG levels had climbed up and Progesterone was greater than 40)!

So… everything seemed to be going well. I was kind of convinced that everything was going well with this pregnancy, we had seen the heartbeat the second time, the measurements were good… I even ordered two pregnancy books (
Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy and When You're Expecting Twins, Triplets, or Quads: Proven Guidelines for a Healthy Multiple Pregnancy …both have great reviews on! Saturday was very relaxing (off late we have been keeping a low profile in our social life… as in we are trying to stay home and relax as much as possible and not tire myself out even more than I already get by just sitting on my ass)! We got up late, had a good lunch, lazed around and then went to do some groceries. Picked up some “healthy” food for me… came home had dinner and then settled in to watch a movie!

…And then (TMI warning)! I realized that I felt a little wet down there, so I decided to go check on myself. As soon as I sat down (to pee) there was a HUGE gush of blood (at around 1000 pm - the blood was red and not dark brown or pink). I freaked out and called out for my DH! I held my pee and then emptied my bladder in cups so that I could collect any kind of tissues etc that would come out! I immediately called the RE (nurse), she “calmly” mentioned that it is normal during the pregnancy and I could come in the following morning. However, if I use more than a pad in an hour, I should rush to the ER! Well, I used up a pad in 20 minutes. I was still gushing out blood once in a while (I had no control over the flow and even stained our couch)… we decided to head over to the ER again! After our relaxing dinner, I had some darn watermelon and oh my gosh, that filled up my freakin’ bladder so much! I was afraid to go pee at the hospital since I was afraid I would pass something in the loo. Finally after speaking with the doctor they gave me a pan to pee in to. I passed one small thin clot which they collected (I couldn’t quite empty my bladder completely though). I was then rushed to the u/s room! Oh what a relief, there were the 2 heartbeats! I started stabilizing mentally. However, the first u/s was abdominal… and I had to try to empty my bladder more for the vaginal u/s! So I went again with a pan! I passed a 2 inch oval chunky dark red clot… I skipped a heartbeat seeing that… I had just seen 2 beautiful heartbeats 5 minutes ago… what was this! I went back in for the vaginal u/s…. and there were still those 2 beautiful heartbeats! The clot was collected, the u/s technician wasn’t sure if it was going to be analyzed (since it wasn’t technically fetal matter). She mentioned that this is probably
Subchorionic Hematoma. And I could bleed again and pass out more clots. The bleeding stopped (was minimal) after I passed the clot. After the u/s they did some b/w… HCG was still rising everything else looked okay. We came back home at around 0330-0400 in the morning and were supposed to leave for my RE’s at around 0630 am… so we took a “nap” and went to the RE’s. The doctor who was doing the monitoring for the weekend is a dick head! I love all the doctors at the clinic except for this a$$! He has zero bed side manners… he came in and started doing his job, I was a little concerned if he even knew why I had come in. I asked and he was like, yes I know! He wouldn’t discuss anything… just showed us the (good) heartbeats and did some measurements. I offered to show him the ER report and he said he didn’t want to see it since they normally don’t say anything. He also went on to say that more than likely this will happen again! Oh how great! Though he ended our meeting by saying that typically after seeing heartbeats the chances of miscarriage reduces drastically!

So here I am now… hoping to speak with a different nurse tomorrow (my nurse is on vacation until after Labor Day weekend) and somehow reach my RE so that I feel more convinced. I am supposed to be graduating to an OB on Friday (09/04 at 8W1D) and my OB appointment is on 09/15. I really don’t know if I am going to be able to stay sane during the no u/s phase! Reading about Subchorionic Hematoma has not helped… and I can’t wait for tomorrow! All the posibilities that went through my mind since the bleeding started is all together a different story! I am so glad we went to the ER, or else I would have been miserable throughout the night and that dick would have made my life even more miserable today!

If anybody knows anything about Subchorionic Hematoma or has experienced it, please leave me a message. Thanks for all your support!
Update: I have been bedresting the whole day today and intend on doing that for a few more days! I spoke to a nurse today and my RE is supposed to call tomorrow. I am just hoping to get a few questions answered when I speak to him. All your comments and information have been a great help - Thank you so much! I also came across this forum on about Subchorionic Bleeding... and that has been pretty reassuring too!

August 21, 2009

Two Heartbeats!!

2 Heartbeats at 6W1D!!
Beta at 29DPO (24DP5DT) is 37,553
TSH is 3.6 (up from 1.9 during diagnostic in 2008)
Progesterone is > 40
PIO to be reduced to 0.5 ml (from 1 ml)

Sorry, I have been MIA! I have been so freakin’ nervous and scared the past whole week… all this seems surreal, too good to be true! There is a long way to go and there is a lot that can happen in the interim, but for now… this is real! For now, I have been super tired, feel a little dazed at times, am always hungry (I snack in the middle of the night as well once in a while), have gaged a couple of times (no major nausea as of now), get headaches once in a while!

Yesterday, I had some spotting, and that scared the shit out of me! Not very much, just a little bit when I wiped (sorry, TMI)… but I was a super nervous wreck since then till we saw the heartbeats this morning! I probably slept for 4-5 hours last night!

When we went in this morning, it was one of the RE’s I had during the ER. He is new to the clinic but he is super cute! :) Pretty friendly and open for discussions. As soon as I saw him, I mentioned about the spotting. He said it is normal but we will take a look. As soon as the wand went in, we saw the first sac! Beautiful… there was a heartbeat (Baby A)! The embryo measured on track! Then we started looking for the second one… the second sac is located a little higher up in the uterus and was a little hard to get to today (my bladder was full, and I am not sure if that had anything to do with the visualization of my uterus and ovaries*). At first the RE thought that the sac was empty, he said it looked a little collapsed (vanishing twin)… I was a little disappointed. But then he decided to look at again and there it was. Second beautiful heartbeat (Baby B)! So, yes… we still have two in there and I hope it stays that way. We love our babies! On a side note, my ovaries are shrinking back to “normal”… they were still pretty big last week… and as usual my right ovary* was hard to get to!

The call from my nurse about the b/w results didn’t come in till very late. I was still a nervous wreck… hoping that the HCG was looking okay and the spotting was not going to cause any issues! Finally the call came and I was at peace. The nurse said everything looked fine and spotting is more common with twins. However, she mentioned that my Thyroid Stimulating Hormone (TSH) levels have gone up! They like to see TSH value to be less than 2.5 during pregnancy (non pregnant women normal is less than 4.5) and mine had gone up to 3.6 (it was 1.9 during diagnostic less than a year ago). I am going to have to start some medication (Levothyroxine). So ladies… has anyone been through this situation? Is it normal for the TSH to go up during pregnancy and have you gotten onto any kind of TSH medication? Any remarks/comments about this will be greatly appreciated!

I am also being weaned off of PIO. The dosage is getting reduced to half. I was advised to make an appointment with my OB. As mentioned before, I am trying to change my OB… so I called this new OB, but it was too late in the day to speak with anyone, so I left a message and I am hoping to get through by Monday. I am supposed to make an appointment with in 3 weeks from today. I am just hoping that I can make an appointment with this new OB (and not have to start all over again the process of short listing). He was recommended by my clinic, has good reviews, is associated with the hospital (which has a good NICU) I want to go to and is also the husband of one the RE’s at my clinic... in the interim, I go back in for my next u/s and b/w on Friday, August 28, 2009.

And now… the Babies…

August 14, 2009

The Moment of Truth - TWINS!!

Today was the first u/s at 5w1d and it is TWINS!! There are two miracles in there with yolk sacs (My little babies, keep growing strong)! We will be going in next Friday, August 21, 2009 for the next u/s to see the heartbeats! I will post the u/s scanned pictures shortly! I am super excited!!! :)

August 10, 2009

Yes I Will Be A Better Mother!

I have realized (and will admit) that when I come across new blogs, I don't always completely go through their months of archives (I look out for the ICLW/summary posts and read the latest entries)... back when I had just started blogging in March, I came across this beautiful poem (that I had posted back then)... so thought that I should repost it/share it (if you haven't come across it already)...


There are women that become mothers without effort, without thought, without patience or loss and though they are good mothers and love their children, I know that I will be better. I will be better not because of genetics, or money or that I have read more books but because I have struggled and toiled for this child.

I have longed and waited.
I have cried and prayed.
I have endured and planned over and over again.
Like most things in life, the people who truly have appreciation are those who have struggled to attain their dreams.
I will notice everything about my child.
I will take time to watch my child sleep, explore and discover.
I will marvel at this miracle every day for the rest of my life.
I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of my child, knowing that I can comfort, hold and feed him and that I am not waking to take another temperature, pop another pill, take another shot or cry tears of a broken dream.
My dream will be crying for me.
I count myself lucky in this sense that God has given me this insight, this special vision with which I will look upon my child that my friends will not see.
Whether I parent a child I actually give birth to or a child that God leads me to, I will not be careless with my love.
I will be a better mother for all that I have endured.
I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter, neighbor, friend and sister because I have known pain.
I know disillusionment as I have been betrayed by my own body.
I have been tried by fire and hell many never face, yet given time, I stood tall.
I have prevailed. I have succeeded. I have won.
So now, when others hurt around me, I do not run from their pain in order to save myself discomfort.
I see it, mourn it, and join them in theirs. I listen. And even though I cannot make it better, I can make it less lonely.
I have learned the immense power of another hand holding tight to mine, of other eyes that moisten as they learn to accept the harsh truth and when life is beyond hard.
I have learned a compassion that only comes with walking in those shoes.
I have learned to appreciate life.Yes, I will be a wonderful mother!

~Author Unknown

August 9, 2009

Taking a deep breath...

Starting with the IF treatment I had imagined that having twins would be great... so that we won't have to go through the emotional, physical and financial stress of needles and probing and protocols again! We still don't know if it is a singleton or twins, but with a higher probability of multiples, it is just hitting me. Over the past several months and years, pregnancy seemed very distant, fertility treatment was more like a mission... so once that mission turned in to reality it just hit me hard. I guess I am just anxious and reading too much in to this (including my previous post). I realize that this reality could end any minute, but right now... I am there and this is real... and I am living it! I just don't know what to expect! Last night I was up for 2-3 hours wondering what it would be like if it is twins?! I have always dreamt of babies, but never really pictured us with twins (note that the above reference of me imagining twins was only for the sake of IF treatment). It just occurred to me that starting with high risk pregnancy to smaller (hopefully healthy) babies to enough supply of breast milk (exclusive BF'ing has been my dream) to financial stability to domestic help to travelling to... it will all be different! I just need to take a deep breath and loosen up... let go of my anxiety and live these moments, and be thankful for what we have! There is a long way to go and we will get there... just like we have thus far! Thank you for listening and being there!

August 8, 2009

Beta # 2

Beta # 2 is 499. As per, the rise is 147% and the values for beta # 1 and beta # 2 are higher than the high for a singleton pregnancy. According to the, beta # 2 is well above the median for twin pregnancy. I wonder what is going on in there! I was looking at, and it seems high HCG is attributed to multiples (quite obvious) or a molar pregnancy! There are several posts online which direct high HCG levels (with a singleton) to Downs Syndrome! I hope I am just reading way too much in to it and hope everything is healthy in there. IF just doesn’t let you stop worrying! We are keeping our fingers crossed!

We will be going for the 3rd beta and 1st u/s on Friday, August 14, 2009. I will be continuing with my acupuncture once a week (as of now). PIO continues and the Metformin has stopped (as of now)! I have been POAS at least every other day and can’t seem to stop myself from doing it!

Thank you all for the kind words and for all the well wishes! Oh yes, and thank you to MiraclesDHappen, Queen D and Katie for the One Lovely Blog Award again! :) MiraclesDHappen and Queen D are working towards their dream and Katie just figured out that they are having twins! Do stop by their blogs and wish them luck!

August 6, 2009

Beta Result...


OMG… I really don’t know where to start! Yes, I caved and POAS two days ago (7DP5DT)… and it was a faint positive… of course I tested again yesterday (8DP5DT) and it was a darker line! I have barely been able to sleep with anxiety for the past two nights! Besides never ever seeing a 2nd line on the pee stick (not even on OPK since I don’t ovulate with my PCOS), I also had some bitter taste of beta during the May IUI (#3)… my HCG started out at 8 and plateaued at 25 (before going down)! I could not believe myself till I had the beta results (today at 9DP5DT)! I was hoping to see at least something between a 75 and 100 (since it was being detected by the pee stick)! And here it is 202! My nurse said it is in between a singleton and twin pregnancy, but of course nothing can be said for sure at this point of time. And now, I have been finding myself thinking a few months ahead and then shooting myself down. “No BB… you are only allowed to think a few days ahead!” I go in again on Saturday (August 8, 2009) for the 2nd beta and then a week from Saturday (or more like Friday) will be the 3rd beta and 1st u/s (it is too early to see a heart beat at 5 weeks)! Okay, I am going to stop at that! I can’t think of anything beyond a week! I am so happy and excited, yet so freakin’ nervous, scared and cautious!!!

I want to thank you all from the bottom of my heart for all the support and encouragement! I wouldn’t have survived without it! This is the farthest I have been in this process and I can’t thank the Almighty enough for giving me this opportunity and for the 5 snow babies!! My DH is a sweetheart and I love him to death for supporting me through this and bearing with my tantrums! There is a very long way to go, and I am hoping and praying that this “P” progresses! Good luck to all my fellow IF buddies… I am praying for you to get your BFP real soon! And all you pregger gals out there, you give me a lot of hope and inspiration and I am praying for a healthy pregnancy for you all!

Paid Maternity Leave Petition...

Mrs. Hammer at Expect Miracles posted information about a petition by The goal of the petition is to expand and strengthen Paid Family Leave program in the US. For more information please visit MomsRising website or Mrs. Hammer's post. The petition can be found here.

August 3, 2009

One Lovely Blog Award!

My first blog award came my way this weekend… followed by another one. I received two “One Lovely Blog Awards” from Kelli at Life, Love, and TTC Mysteries and Melissa at What? IF?! . Thank you Kelli and Melissa! Kelli and Melissa are both preparing for an IVF cycle after an ectopic pregnancy! Please stop by and wish them good luck!

The rules of the "One Lovely Blog Award" are:
Accept the award, post it on your blog together with the name of the person who has granted the award, and his or her blog link. Pass the award to 15 other blogs that you’ve newly discovered. Remember to contact the bloggers to let them know they have been chosen for this award.

And now the award goes to… (Most of them are the blogs I came across during recent ICLWs or while networking via ICLW)

Clio at
Dancing with Gaia
Flower at
With God, All Things Are Possible

August 1, 2009

4DP5DT… and the PIO tickle!

Yay… I finally get to type it! ;) I know it’s already 4DP5DT, but I have been trying to keep a low profile. The more I think about it the more I want to consult Dr. Google and so on and so forth. I can’t wait for the next 5 days to pass by! I keep telling DH that I want to POAS… but he keeps reminding me that my job right now is to take it easy and make a cozy home for the embies and not kill myself with anxiety! It probably is way too early to POAS anyways… but I want to know what’s happening in there. I have a few things going on in my system, which I would like to believe are super high side effects of PIO. During the IUI’s I have been on Progesterone suppositories… so yes, I have never had progesterone in my blood as high as it is right now (with PIO). I have had a few cramps & twinges here and there, feel like AF is on the way, I am peeing a lot (but then I am guzzling down gallons of water because I am parched every few minutes), my bo.obs are sore as hell, I feel weak and tired all the time and can sleep forever! I know all too well that my mind can play a fabulous game, so back to keeping a low profile and not being very verbose or animated about it! At the same time, I am trying to cherish the idea that I am PUPO!

Oh… I have been wanting to ask about one thing! My PIO shots have been going well. Besides the soreness at the site, nothing extraordinary… however, I am getting tickled! Yes, that’s right! When the juice starts going into my bum, I get a ticklish sensation and I have to think of something serious so that I don’t burst out laughing and hurt myself with a broken/stuck needle! Has anyone experienced this feeling before or am I just weird!? May be I should just be happy that there is at least some source of entertainment for me in this process! :P