August 9, 2009

Taking a deep breath...

Starting with the IF treatment I had imagined that having twins would be great... so that we won't have to go through the emotional, physical and financial stress of needles and probing and protocols again! We still don't know if it is a singleton or twins, but with a higher probability of multiples, it is just hitting me. Over the past several months and years, pregnancy seemed very distant, fertility treatment was more like a mission... so once that mission turned in to reality it just hit me hard. I guess I am just anxious and reading too much in to this (including my previous post). I realize that this reality could end any minute, but right now... I am there and this is real... and I am living it! I just don't know what to expect! Last night I was up for 2-3 hours wondering what it would be like if it is twins?! I have always dreamt of babies, but never really pictured us with twins (note that the above reference of me imagining twins was only for the sake of IF treatment). It just occurred to me that starting with high risk pregnancy to smaller (hopefully healthy) babies to enough supply of breast milk (exclusive BF'ing has been my dream) to financial stability to domestic help to travelling to... it will all be different! I just need to take a deep breath and loosen up... let go of my anxiety and live these moments, and be thankful for what we have! There is a long way to go and we will get there... just like we have thus far! Thank you for listening and being there!


  1. I think either way you will be just fine! I am also a bit concerned about twins, but time will tell!

  2. I never thought I'd have twins and never wanted twins (not only didn't actively want them, but preferred to have singletons), but here I am pregnant with twins. And absolutely thrilled.

    There are lots of dreams that twin pregnancy has precluded, like the water birth I always envisioned, but my #1 dream has been parenthood and I'll take that however I can get it.

    Whatever it turns out to be, good luck!

  3. BB thanks for giving me the link of that blog, I'll check it out today! Also, you know your beta graph that ou posted in your last post, I looked it up and it seems that my beta value for last friday wan bang on the average! It gave me more hope, but tomorrow will be the day of the truth. I think you are right, just take a deep breath and see what the scan will tell you on friday, if it's twins I'm sure you'll adjust quickly to your new reality and everything will be fine, they won't be arriving tomorrow anyway, so plenty of time to think and reorganise! Lots of love, Fran

  4. Your fears are my fears. Bottom line is that if there are two in there, you've got a good 8 months to worry, so for right now try to put those worries out of your head until you know for sure and focus on the success of the IVF. Ultimately, if it is two then it is what was meant to be. Everything will work out in the end, no matter what. (And yes, I'm trying to keep remembering that too.)