Starting with the IF treatment I had imagined that having twins would be great... so that we won't have to go through the emotional, physical and financial stress of needles and probing and protocols again! We still don't know if it is a singleton or twins, but with a higher probability of multiples, it is just hitting me. Over the past several months and years, pregnancy seemed very distant, fertility treatment was more like a mission... so once that mission turned in to reality it just hit me hard. I guess I am just anxious and reading too much in to this (including my previous post). I realize that this reality could end any minute, but right now... I am there and this is real... and I am living it! I just don't know what to expect! Last night I was up for 2-3 hours wondering what it would be like if it is twins?! I have always dreamt of babies, but never really pictured us with twins (note that the above reference of me imagining twins was only for the sake of IF treatment). It just occurred to me that starting with high risk pregnancy to smaller (hopefully healthy) babies to enough supply of breast milk (exclusive BF'ing has been my dream) to financial stability to domestic help to travelling to... it will all be different! I just need to take a deep breath and loosen up... let go of my anxiety and live these moments, and be thankful for what we have! There is a long way to go and we will get there... just like we have thus far! Thank you for listening and being there!