July 26, 2010

4 Months!!

There have been a lot of changes this month - a lot! My lil babies are growing into infants with a personality, they are growing as individuals!

There is supposed to be a growth spurt around 3 months (gestational age)... so we were trying to observe and make sense of their activities, their feeding habits, their sleep pattern etc... though it all looked haphazard! And then boom! I started realizing that in the last two weeks or so... they talk and talk and talk! They completely hold their neck strong. They like to stand on their feet and bounce around and laugh. They like to be held... to look around the world! They realize when one or the other is held and will stare at you point blank! They love tummy time because they can check out everything around them. They like to get in to their car seats - because they know that they get to go out! They will play with their burp cloth, their swaddles... basically anything they can get hold off. They hold their toys and talk with them. RT when on her tummy, will raise her hip and then push her feet against the ground and move ahead... where as RM, he lifts his whole body by pushing on his feet (while on his back and with the support of his head)... with the way the time has flown by, baby proofing the house is going to be just around the corner! Oh, and how can I forget... they smile at each other and try to converse! In short, they are super fun and I am loving it! :)

Though, along with all this fun stuff, there has been a return of the "reflux". Especially for RM... he had some issues in his first month, some how it got under control without meds. But things started getting bad around 2.5 weeks ago. He spent 2-3 hrs crying, trying to get his burp out; he was spitting up; had lost weight (weighed 12.9 lbs when we went to the Ped); and had drastically reduced his feed. He has been on Zantac (0.8 ml 3x day) for the last 5 days and things are much better. RT had kinda started showing similar symptoms too (not as bad though)... so the Ped recomended that we try the same dosage on her and see if things change. One thing that the meds seem to be helping her with is sleep (she is a very light sleeper - that's all together another post)! So we are going to continue her meds for a week and see how over all it is affecting her. Also, since we are nearing the age of introducing solids... I am a lil concerned... from what I have read... babies with reflux can have a hard time with solids.

Their 4 month Ped visit is on August 6th! They will be getting their second round of vaccination and we will be evaluating the reflux issue as well.

July 23, 2010

One Year... & twin blessings!!

Exactly one year ago our babies came to be! Thursday, July 23, 2009 was my ER. Even though we were striving to complete our family, it was more of a mission to get pregnant... and never had I imagined how wonderfully blessed we would be a year down the line!

The journey to reach to this point has not been easy. Even now everyday with the babies is something new, a new challenge in some form or the other. Though, seeing the twinkle in their eyes, the smiles, the recognition, the cooing... it makes it all worth it!

I love you my sweet little Darlings!!

July 13, 2010


Last year this time, I was frustrated, hopeful, disappointed, cautiously optimistic... basically a bunch of mixed feelings. Last year today (7/13), I started my stims! My babies completed 1 year on 7/9 as per their gestational age. I had an emotional outburst on that day thinking of where we were last year and where we are today... what all we had to go through to get to where we have! I can't be thankful enough for the two beautiful children we have been blessed with!

That brings me to the question of our embabies. We were fortunate enough to be able to freeze a few of our embryos... we have 5 embabies! Today, I am faced with the question of what do we do with our potential +5? Of course I have no plans of being a reality star! We (DH and I) had discussed this in the past and both were pretty sure that we wanted to give them to science. But today when I look at it... I am unsure! Several things run through my mind!

First off... my babies are already 3+ months old. I feel like time is flying by too fast, these days will never come... and if we stop at two, I am never going to get to experience this ever again... which makes me want to go for a third child. Though the practical and rational side of me knows that we are a happy family of 4!

Recently, one of the IF sista that I follow, had a BFN at one of the best clinics in the country. From what I know of her (through her blog), I know that we have similar backgrounds... a thought ran through my mind. What if I donated our embabies to them. I know it is easier said than done (legally and practically)... of course I never really proposed this to her, but I brought this hypothetical situation up with DH and he was not really comfortable. I am not comfortable blindly donating the embabies for adoption, because all my life I will wonder how the babies are doing, what they look like etc. But, looking at this IF world my heart just sinks to donate the embabies to science, where I know there are fellow IF'ers who have are still struggling to get to where I have reached. Though, I guess it is better to donate to science than just discard the embabies, because hopefully the science which has helped me reach where I have today, might be able to better help the next generation!

If you have frozen embabies, what decisions have you made?