To CIO or not!?

Not sure what to really call this post! We are having some issues here... both the kids pretty much get the same treatment as far as sleeping/feeding is concerned... but of course they are two different individuals and they have their own personality! And I am having trouble here with my daughter (RT)!

So RM loves to sleep... he will take naps anywhere between 45 minutes to 2 hours and usually sleeps pretty well at night with just 1 feeding in between (or 2 if he has had a bad day). When the reflux is bad... he burps miserable and has to be held... so he kind of has gotten in to a habit of sleeping in my arms and then being put down in to his crib (he was so good at putting himself to sleep before that). With reflux he was also a pretty bad feeder till we up'ed the dosage. He used to struggle with finishing an ounce or two at a time... though we used to some how manage to get 25-30 oz in a day (on good days). He now takes between 4 to 6 oz at a time. So he is doing pretty well.

Now... RT! She naps for just 30 to 45 minutes. I have tried several things to get her to nap longer... wake to sleep, pick up put down, holding her, patting her, swinging her... she normally doesn't even nap for longer than 45 minutes in a car ride! Though one good thing is she can kind of put herself to sleep. She sucks on her fingers to fall asleep (we don't use a paci)... hopefully she will grow out of it, but it works for now. She used to have trouble with her awake time in the beginning... she used to tire out very easily in less than an hour (the shorter naps were just not enough for her). But, as she is growing up... those 30-45 min naps seems to be working fine while she stays up for anywhere between 1.5 to 2 hours. With her such short naps and RM's long naps, we have never ever been able to put them on the same schedule, though there night time sleep pretty much coincide (~ 11 hours)! Anyhow... my main concern for her is... feeding. If she is really hungry she can finish a bottle of 4 oz in less than 2-3 minutes! But ever since the reflux... she will hardly take 1-2 oz in one go. She gets super excited and also has a strong temper. Between the two persona's of hers, its very difficult to get her to take a good feed. Which essentially means... she wakes up at night! Anywhere between 3 to 4 times. Sometimes with in 2 hours. I am okay with night feeds... but getting up every 2 hours? That is like a newborn! Just not acceptable!! She used to sleep for 5 to 8 hours straight when she was smaller. She sometimes will finish half her daily intake at night! We try not to go in and feed her or soothe her right away! If she reduces her feeds during the night, she might just be willing to take more during the day time. After she is fed, she will fall asleep by her self... so we know that she is not using the bottle to try to fall back asleep. We kind of let it be during the reflux (low medication dosage) stage... because they were really miserable and just couldn't feed enough at one time!

I am totally confused as to what to do with her? Should I let her cry it out at night! Will she really learn that night time is not for feeding and take in more during the day time?! Currently, the medication is working like a charm and I know for sure that when she gets up in the middle of the night it is not a burp (reflux related) but more for hunger! If I had to let her CIO... this would be the time... unless she just grows out of it! Should I give her a paci... will she take it with such a late introduction? I would hate for her to get completely reliant on the pacifier! I would really appreciate any advice that you may have or experience that you can share.