It is 35/35 today... that is 35w preggers and 35d to go! I always found it exciting to read it on other blogs. Not that it technically counts for twin PG, but it always fascinated me! :)
Anyhow, through the last 35 weeks, 5 of my friends have had *news* to share - gotten pregnant!
The closest of them all is technically just a week behind me as per the real EDD (in April). She told me about her status when she had just figured out (between week 4-5) and I was still in the closet... she knew about the IVF, but I had requested her to not ask about the IVF outcome till I came up with it! I was in shock for a few weeks (as usual, they weren't even ttc their first one)! I finally opened up to her, though our relationship has not been as open as it used to be (we have been good friends since high school and we are the only two who are exclusively in touch with each other for over a decade)... though it is getting better with time.
Then came the news of another friend whose EDD is 4 weeks before mine... so she is ready to pop anytime now! That felt more like a surprised shock - it didn't hit me as hard! May be I had started believing in myself a little more since I was in the second trimester.
This followed by a friend who got PG with her 2nd IVF... I was thrilled! I was so excited and happy for her... she recently delivered a cute and chubby baby boy!
Then, in the last 2 weeks, 2 other friends revealed that they are expecting their 2nd child (they both are 2 weeks apart - due in Sept). How did I feel this time? Numb! I am happy for them, but I am numb.
The genuine excitement I used to have for (non-IF) friends who used to get PG back in the days seems to have disappeared. My reaction has changed from shock & pain to numbness... will it change further? I don't know! When I know there are several of my dear blog buddies still trying and several people in real life still struggling, the IF in me will always stay on the guard!
Anyhow, through the last 35 weeks, 5 of my friends have had *news* to share - gotten pregnant!
The closest of them all is technically just a week behind me as per the real EDD (in April). She told me about her status when she had just figured out (between week 4-5) and I was still in the closet... she knew about the IVF, but I had requested her to not ask about the IVF outcome till I came up with it! I was in shock for a few weeks (as usual, they weren't even ttc their first one)! I finally opened up to her, though our relationship has not been as open as it used to be (we have been good friends since high school and we are the only two who are exclusively in touch with each other for over a decade)... though it is getting better with time.
Then came the news of another friend whose EDD is 4 weeks before mine... so she is ready to pop anytime now! That felt more like a surprised shock - it didn't hit me as hard! May be I had started believing in myself a little more since I was in the second trimester.
This followed by a friend who got PG with her 2nd IVF... I was thrilled! I was so excited and happy for her... she recently delivered a cute and chubby baby boy!
Then, in the last 2 weeks, 2 other friends revealed that they are expecting their 2nd child (they both are 2 weeks apart - due in Sept). How did I feel this time? Numb! I am happy for them, but I am numb.
The genuine excitement I used to have for (non-IF) friends who used to get PG back in the days seems to have disappeared. My reaction has changed from shock & pain to numbness... will it change further? I don't know! When I know there are several of my dear blog buddies still trying and several people in real life still struggling, the IF in me will always stay on the guard!
I hear you! Knowing that I'll soon be able to hear the news of others' pregnancies with my own child in my arms makes it less painful, but I'll always wonder if they appreciate the gift they've ben given or understand how hard it can be for some of us to get pregnant.
ReplyDeleteI agree. I still feel a bit like I "worked harder" for mine than my friends (none of them have had any trouble conceiving, and several are on their 2nd or umpteenth baby). I can never convey in enough detail or with enough emphasis to anyone who asks or is already in the know, how much we struggled (and paid!) to get pregnant.
ReplyDeleteWell I don't know what to say, but maybe it's just going to have less than an impact in the future. Hugs and can't wait to hear your next update! Fran
ReplyDeleteOoh, I like the 35/35 thing too. That's kinda cool.
ReplyDeleteYou have LESS than 35 days to go... how super exciting! And I bet it feels sooo good to get to the point where you might not even need any NICU time at all.
ReplyDelete