August 10, 2009

Yes I Will Be A Better Mother!

I have realized (and will admit) that when I come across new blogs, I don't always completely go through their months of archives (I look out for the ICLW/summary posts and read the latest entries)... back when I had just started blogging in March, I came across this beautiful poem (that I had posted back then)... so thought that I should repost it/share it (if you haven't come across it already)...

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There are women that become mothers without effort, without thought, without patience or loss and though they are good mothers and love their children, I know that I will be better. I will be better not because of genetics, or money or that I have read more books but because I have struggled and toiled for this child.

I have longed and waited.
I have cried and prayed.
I have endured and planned over and over again.
Like most things in life, the people who truly have appreciation are those who have struggled to attain their dreams.
I will notice everything about my child.
I will take time to watch my child sleep, explore and discover.
I will marvel at this miracle every day for the rest of my life.
I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of my child, knowing that I can comfort, hold and feed him and that I am not waking to take another temperature, pop another pill, take another shot or cry tears of a broken dream.
My dream will be crying for me.
I count myself lucky in this sense that God has given me this insight, this special vision with which I will look upon my child that my friends will not see.
Whether I parent a child I actually give birth to or a child that God leads me to, I will not be careless with my love.
I will be a better mother for all that I have endured.
I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter, neighbor, friend and sister because I have known pain.
I know disillusionment as I have been betrayed by my own body.
I have been tried by fire and hell many never face, yet given time, I stood tall.
I have prevailed. I have succeeded. I have won.
So now, when others hurt around me, I do not run from their pain in order to save myself discomfort.
I see it, mourn it, and join them in theirs. I listen. And even though I cannot make it better, I can make it less lonely.
I have learned the immense power of another hand holding tight to mine, of other eyes that moisten as they learn to accept the harsh truth and when life is beyond hard.
I have learned a compassion that only comes with walking in those shoes.
I have learned to appreciate life.Yes, I will be a wonderful mother!

~Author Unknown

5 comments:

  1. Beautiful!

    Thanks for leaving me the comment about the blog list. Mines is up and running now. Thanks

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  2. Did you can the other post? I wanted to add to it that, in my humble opinion, it is A-OK to protect yourself and your feelings right now if someone gets under your skin in a personal way. You have worked hard to achieve something so many (including some you know) take for granted, and reducing stress is your priority, regardless of what's happening in others' lives. Give a good excuse and gracefully bail out, is what I would do. Would your husband be willing to help with the request and cover for you? That might be a good compromise. Good luck with it!

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  3. Talk about a tear jerker...This poem is so true. My brother and sister-in-law struggled with IF, they didn't want to persue IVF, and finally concieved natrually after five years, just one miracle. They are the best parents I know, and my beautiful neice is the smartest, happiest kid I know, she is way ahead of other kids her age, and I'm not being biased.

    Contgratulations on your twins! I know you will cherish every moment!

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