May 17, 2011


I couldn't figure out what to label this post. This post is a bunch of mixed feelings. It is a sigh of relief that RM's life has not been labelled with NF. But, who knows what the future holds? NF can sometimes show significant indicators along puberty, so this might just remain a big question mark for a while. As per some ("scientific info"), NF can be just a label, and not affect a person at all (other than some markings on the body), but for some - it can be life altering. Or, this could just be some discoloration and not be NF at all. I can only hope that he will do fine. He will be as normal as normal can be.

It is unfair to compare, but often I do just that. Genetically/biologically girls are wired to be ahead of boys during their early years. RT started balancing, crawling, walking, self feeding, repeating words, understanding instructions etc before RM. I wonder if RM is behind his sister just because he is a male? Or is NF causing him to be slower? Am I thinking too much? Comparison is not right, but keeping track of his progress is important, and I have a scale right in front of my eyes. RM has pretty much followed his sister (at the most) in a months time in whatever skills he picks up... so it is not like he is lacking behind, and when I actually compare him with other boys and with what the pediatrician wants him to do, he seems to be right on track.

Some times I feel I am thinking too much about him and too little about his sister. I feel like may be I am being biased. Some things can go unnoticed... am I ignoring something obvious about my daughter, because I am too concerned about - apnea, cardio, more severe reflux, undescended testicle, NF for my son?

I am a kind of a person who likes to know all (?) my options and be relatively proactive. Such issues (besides IF) are a smack on my face, because they are totally out of my control. All I can do is to try to have patience and be aware.

1 comment:

  1. oh honey I think you're thinking too much. I know what you mean about being someone who likes to know and be in control but sometimes you just need to take a breath and let go a bit.