5 months!

The babes are 5 months young today! Happy Five!

I didn't get a chance to update about their 4 month Ped visit which was on August 6th. Things have been a little crazy on the growth (weight) front! As in... RM slacked a little in his weight at around 3.5 months and was almost 3/4th lbs lighter than RT. After birth he had picked up on his weight and surpassed RT... but at around 3.5 months he went down to the 19th percentile from the 50'ish that he was at during the 2nd month visit. Reflux was being a bitch and it took us some time to get a hang of it and start the meds. But with in 2 weeks after starting Zantac, he gained 1.5 lbs (14.3 lbs) and was up in the 29th percentile! Reflux has been affecting RT as well, but she (touch wood) has been taking it in a much better stride (weight gain wise). Every two weeks, we have been having to up the Zantac dose by 0.1 ml as they gain weight. The Ped suggested that we could go see a GI specialist... so we have an appointment on Sept 2. We also went in for a weight check yesterday, and they supposedly weighed 16.75 lbs!!! RT is in the 90th percentile and RM is in the 60th percentile. Now that I think about it, I find it a little hard to believe (the weights), especially since the nurse told me that they both shrunk (wrong height measurements... they were 26 inches at 4 months)... though I guess we will be seeing the specialist soon and will check the weight again then!

Anyhow... now about more exciting stuff!

-They LOVE to sit up! Mostly assisted, but they are probably going to surprise us soon with their capability to sit unassisted. If you hold their hands while they are laying down, they will lift their body and bend their arms at the elbow and sit up. RM will actually sit up and then lift his body to stand up!
-They are eating rice cereal every day (since August 8th). We introduced Avocado on August 22nd. Sometimes it is a struggle to get them to eat (if burp (reflux) is bothering them)... but if everything is going well, they will chow down their food pretty well!
-Their poop and fart has already started to stink! :) I wonder how it is going to be once they really-really start solids!
-They love to talk. Sometimes even in the middle of the night!
-They are starting to notice each other more. They will try to play with each others arms and legs and hair and clothes... they will also check each other out if one of them is crying! I can't wait to see them actually start playing!
-Both of them have been rolling over from belly to back for a while now. RT recently rolled over from her back to belly (on August 20th). RM has been trying to roll over for a while now, but he still has not mastered lifting up his big head (his head measures in the 100th percentile)!
-We started them with size 3 diapers this week!
-They are still wearing 3-6 months clothes, but they are starting to feel a little tight.
-They love being outside... and they especially love car rides! The babes will instantly quite down (if they are fussy) when they get into their car seats to go out!
-The best toy ever - Jumperoo... OMG, they can jump and wiggle for ever in it. Very easy to get overstimulated... but they absolutely love it!

Looking at their activity level, we are soon going to have to baby proof the house. Next month marks their half year birthday! I wish I had 48 hours in a day to cherish and enjoy each & every moment with them!

BF'ing (BM'ing) & Solids

Thank you for your supporting comments! It is just hard to accept that we have lost that real breastfeeding! And I know I will be going through another such withdrawal in a few months time! I am still pumping (~2 L)... and we plan on transitioning them to formula after 6 months and hopefully get them on to formula (+ solids) by 8 months.

The babes will be 5 months in a weeks time, which essentially means I will be continuing the marathon pumping session for 1 more month... I have been 100% committed to providing EBM and ideally I would have loved to provide breastmilk for them up until one yr. But this is not mentally easy and plus we will be traveling internationally at around the 8-9 month mark (and will be away for 1+ month) and I don't think it is going to be feasible to keep pumping the way I do at that point of time! I hate to think that my "breastmilking" days are nearing its end. The babies are what they are today pretty much because of what I have provided them (which includes average weight gain (50 percentile'ish) and also the "Reflux") and I feel fortunate to be able to do that (sp since I wasn't sure about how my supply would be with the PCOS)!

We started solids (rice cereal) on August 8th (once a day). It went from not know what the heck we were giving them to grabbing the spoon and trying to put it in to their mouth. I wouldn't say they are a pro at eating the (semi) solids, but they are improving. We are hoping to start with either avocado (high calorie), banana (high calorie) or carrots (reflux friendly) next around their 5 month birthday! I was planning on waiting till around 6 months, but the Ped seems to be okay with it and... I am aware of a few cultures starting solids as early as 3 to 4 months... and have also noticed the occurrence of reflux being less amongst those babies. May be they are able to keep their food (milk) down better? Though, I guess each child is different and each situation is different!

End of BF'ing!

Every time I think of breastfeeding, I just want to cry! I started this post some 10 days ago... and am finally getting to finish it!

The babes are 4+ months old and they are still on EBM! Which is great... but long gone are the days when I could say our actual breastfeeding days are numbered, I already feel like it is over (and now while finishing this post 10 days later... they are OVER)! And I just want to cry!

I know I have been fortunate enough to not have supply issues (till now) and have been able to provide for them. But I just feel like a failure when it comes to bf'ing. Taking care of twins is not easy, though I have been lucky to have some help at home... my parents helped us for the first 2.5 months... and then the in-laws "helped"... I might sound like a bitch and very ungrateful, but the later part of the help was more mentally stressful! With the "stress", the time I got to put the babes to my bo.obs was very less, and of course the babies lost their capability to suckle very well (I don't think they had latching issues later on)! Plus the reflux didn't help, my let down is very "heavy" (probably because of power pumping due to lack of time) and the babies at time would have to be burped even 2-3 time in 5 minutes when bf'ing. So... it is over, it is over for good... I will never ever experience babies sucking on my bo.obs... ever! And that just makes me so sad and bitter. Had it been in my control or had the babies decided they were done with it, I wouldn't have felt as bad. But, this was not my decision, nor the babies... and I am mad at the situation. May be I am just a slacker and am finding excuses... and am just blabbering! I just had hoped that bf'ing wouldn't end this way! :(

4 Months!!

There have been a lot of changes this month - a lot! My lil babies are growing into infants with a personality, they are growing as individuals!

There is supposed to be a growth spurt around 3 months (gestational age)... so we were trying to observe and make sense of their activities, their feeding habits, their sleep pattern etc... though it all looked haphazard! And then boom! I started realizing that in the last two weeks or so... they talk and talk and talk! They completely hold their neck strong. They like to stand on their feet and bounce around and laugh. They like to be held... to look around the world! They realize when one or the other is held and will stare at you point blank! They love tummy time because they can check out everything around them. They like to get in to their car seats - because they know that they get to go out! They will play with their burp cloth, their swaddles... basically anything they can get hold off. They hold their toys and talk with them. RT when on her tummy, will raise her hip and then push her feet against the ground and move ahead... where as RM, he lifts his whole body by pushing on his feet (while on his back and with the support of his head)... with the way the time has flown by, baby proofing the house is going to be just around the corner! Oh, and how can I forget... they smile at each other and try to converse! In short, they are super fun and I am loving it! :)

Though, along with all this fun stuff, there has been a return of the "reflux". Especially for RM... he had some issues in his first month, some how it got under control without meds. But things started getting bad around 2.5 weeks ago. He spent 2-3 hrs crying, trying to get his burp out; he was spitting up; had lost weight (weighed 12.9 lbs when we went to the Ped); and had drastically reduced his feed. He has been on Zantac (0.8 ml 3x day) for the last 5 days and things are much better. RT had kinda started showing similar symptoms too (not as bad though)... so the Ped recomended that we try the same dosage on her and see if things change. One thing that the meds seem to be helping her with is sleep (she is a very light sleeper - that's all together another post)! So we are going to continue her meds for a week and see how over all it is affecting her. Also, since we are nearing the age of introducing solids... I am a lil concerned... from what I have read... babies with reflux can have a hard time with solids.

Their 4 month Ped visit is on August 6th! They will be getting their second round of vaccination and we will be evaluating the reflux issue as well.

One Year... & twin blessings!!

Exactly one year ago our babies came to be! Thursday, July 23, 2009 was my ER. Even though we were striving to complete our family, it was more of a mission to get pregnant... and never had I imagined how wonderfully blessed we would be a year down the line!

The journey to reach to this point has not been easy. Even now everyday with the babies is something new, a new challenge in some form or the other. Though, seeing the twinkle in their eyes, the smiles, the recognition, the cooing... it makes it all worth it!

I love you my sweet little Darlings!!

Embabies

Last year this time, I was frustrated, hopeful, disappointed, cautiously optimistic... basically a bunch of mixed feelings. Last year today (7/13), I started my stims! My babies completed 1 year on 7/9 as per their gestational age. I had an emotional outburst on that day thinking of where we were last year and where we are today... what all we had to go through to get to where we have! I can't be thankful enough for the two beautiful children we have been blessed with!

That brings me to the question of our embabies. We were fortunate enough to be able to freeze a few of our embryos... we have 5 embabies! Today, I am faced with the question of what do we do with our potential +5? Of course I have no plans of being a reality star! We (DH and I) had discussed this in the past and both were pretty sure that we wanted to give them to science. But today when I look at it... I am unsure! Several things run through my mind!

First off... my babies are already 3+ months old. I feel like time is flying by too fast, these days will never come... and if we stop at two, I am never going to get to experience this ever again... which makes me want to go for a third child. Though the practical and rational side of me knows that we are a happy family of 4!

Recently, one of the IF sista that I follow, had a BFN at one of the best clinics in the country. From what I know of her (through her blog), I know that we have similar backgrounds... a thought ran through my mind. What if I donated our embabies to them. I know it is easier said than done (legally and practically)... of course I never really proposed this to her, but I brought this hypothetical situation up with DH and he was not really comfortable. I am not comfortable blindly donating the embabies for adoption, because all my life I will wonder how the babies are doing, what they look like etc. But, looking at this IF world my heart just sinks to donate the embabies to science, where I know there are fellow IF'ers who have are still struggling to get to where I have reached. Though, I guess it is better to donate to science than just discard the embabies, because hopefully the science which has helped me reach where I have today, might be able to better help the next generation!

If you have frozen embabies, what decisions have you made?

3 Months!!!

Happy 3 Months Birthday my Dear Babies!!!

Every post I post seems to say that time is flying by... and it sure is! There is so much I want to say, but I have been really busy with guests. There are a few thoughts going on in my head and I will be posting about it next.

A few updates about the babies...

-They are already wearing size 2 diapers.

-They fit in to 3-6 month clothes.

-They roll over with assistance.

-They are grasping toys.

-They get very easily entertained with things which might seem simple to us. Every morning, RT cracks up and gets super excited when the sun rays peeping through the window blinds dance on the wall! It's hilarious and super cute!

-Their favorite toy is a mobile which I designed (with inspiration from HGTV) and my parents made. It is very simple... we have 4 different colors of ribbon alternating and hanging off of a ring. The babes love to stare at it and get a kick out of it when we spin it for them. The whole thing cost under $5!

-RM has different cries for most things. I am hungry, I need to be burped, I need attention etc. RM has one standard cry for everything and it is sometimes difficult to figure out what she wants. Though she will very easily make us know if she is pissed!

-Initially we had thought that RT was more easy going than RM... she seemed more patient. But things have flipped. RM is the more patient one now... he is very easy going and ever smiling. Where as RT has turned in to the more demanding baby.

-RT is more vocal than RM. She will converse with you with geeee, haguuuu, dhaaai. She will make noises if you are not looking to grab your attention. And once you look at her... she will give you the cutest smile! RM loves to talk as well and can smile for ever!

-RM is a great sleeper, he will make sure he gets the naps he needs. Where as RT... OMG... sometimes we really have to work on her to get her to nap!

-RM is great at tummy time. He perfectly holds his head and checks out stuff around him. Where as RT... she will use that opportunity to relax and sleep on her tummy. I bet she is going to be a tummy sleeper... I am going to have to watch out on her!

-Both of them have discovered sucking on their hand. They will suck on their hand to soothe themselves when they want to fall asleep.

2 Month Ped Visit & Breastfeeding

We had our 2 month pediatrician visit today. Ms. Snuglesaurus (RT) and Mr. Smilie (RM) had their 2 month vaccinations today too and have been a little cranky (today). They have really caught up on the their measurements. She is weighing 11.5 lbs (50th percentile), measures 23 inches (50th percentile) in length, and the head measurement falls in 75th percentile. He is weighing 12 lbs (50th percentile), 22.24 inches (25th percentile) in length, and the head measurement falls in 90th percentile. It is amazing to see how much they have grown (10 weeks today). During their initial visit to the ped, they were barely on the scale at around 5 percentile. They go back on Aug 6 for their 4 month visit.

Their progress brings me to breastfeeding. They are still on breastmilk (occasional formula feed - once a day at the most)... note that I am not saying breastfeeding! Yes, I am still pumping... there was a time when we were struggling with getting one or the other to latch on. Currently, they do latch on pretty well, but we still have not mastered tandem feeding with their different schedules and personalities. I have been through a phase where I felt guilty because I couldn't directly breastfeed them. But looking at their progress, I realize that what matters the most is that they are getting what is best for them and what they need. I am pumping around 2L of milk every day... and I am glad I can provide for them up until now. In an effort to get them to breastfeed directly, frustration would have resulted in neither them getting enough milk and me giving up on the idea of providing them milk, and I am happy to stand where I do today.

I really want to thank Baby Smiling in Back Seat (Mom of twins) and Tubeless in Seattle (Mom of triplets) for providing me with the guidance about breastfeeding. They both recommended The Breastfeeding Mother's Guide to Making More Milk ... and that is the best book to refer to if you are expecting multiples or do anticipate some trouble with breastfeeding. That book has been a blessing to me. Understanding how supply and demand works and how important stimulation is for good milk supply... is something this book very well gets across. It is an easy read and you can read some of the pages on Amazon (Search Inside This Book) if you want to get a gist of the book.

2 Months!!

My heart melts to see these babies grow up so fast! They are 2 months young today! Time has been flying by! They both keep changing every day and I sometimes wonder if that is how it will be all their (young) life. They surprise me with a new sound, with a new look, with their strength, with their personality. They are little charmers!

Here is an update for RM (baby boy) and RT (baby girl)...
-They pretty much hold their neck.
-They love being outdoors (especially RT... she gets super excited when she is outside).
-They gulp down anywhere between 3 to 6 oz of milk. And consume up to 30 oz of milk every day.
-They cluster feed in the evening and then go with a stretch of ~6 hours of no feed/sleep! Rest of the feeds are still 3 to 4 hours apart.
-RM smiles and smiles and smiles... it is hard not to find him smile! He has gone from a demanding baby to a smiley baby! The only time he cries is when he is hungry... so is the case with RT. Though, RT has recently started truly smiling in the last 2 days.
-RM is on the apnea monitor only when he sleeps at night! And the monitor will be off after his shots.
-Both of them will be getting their 2 month shots (first round of vaccinations) on June 4th!
-RM is super active... he does not like to be held very close... he likes to check out stuff. RT is super cuddly! She will snuggle in and can stay with you forever!
-They have transitioned in to their nursery. The first night (May 18) they slept in their nursery, it felt like a mini-graduation (I had to cry!).
-They both have started interacting with folks around them! They will try to make some sound to gather attention.
-RM loves his swing and RT loves her rocker (especially to check out the view outside the window).

-They doze off as soon as they sit in their car seats. At least as of now, they sleep through car rides. Though, we haven't had super long rides yet!